Justin and Cam Smile To Hide the Pain

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Former lovers Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz have been on a seemingly unending media blitz to promote Shrek the Third, in which both of their voices appear. Let this be a lesson to Hollywood honeys near and far: making a movie with the person you’re doing is as much of a life sentence as making a baby. If you break up, you have to share custody of the thing. The pained expression of Justin’s face in the shot above basically says it all.

Not that Cameron officially minds. When asked about promoting the film with her former pleasure-giver, Cam said, "He’s been great and we’ve been working so hard together to promote this film." Great? Great?!? Here’s a list of other words Cam could have used to describe working with Justin: "cool," "good," "groovy," "neat-o," "outtasight," "hunky-dory," and "gangsta." In other words: don’t go out of your way to convince us Cam.

After the jump are more shots of Cam and Justin having a "great" time at yesterday’s Shrek the Third premiere in England. [People / All images: Getty]

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Courtney Hires Kurt Doppelganger

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Love Courtney Love isn’t an equal opportunity employer. Turns out if you resemble her deceased husband Kurt Cobain, you have a good chance at being in her new band. In a blog post on her website, Courtney admitted to hiring on a touring guitarist solely based on looks: "I’ll admit it, I really hired him because he looks like Kurt…He didn’t kill me, but he swore if I gave him a week he’d learn everything. He’s blonde and soooooooo beautiful and his guitar playing is great." Love’s keeping tight-lipped about her long overdue return, but did allude to a secret show in London on her 43rd birthday, as well as shows later this summer in L.A.

Prisonbreak Party for Paris

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Rick Hilton is planning a party for his precious Paris upon her release from jail in (count them!) 14 days. The devoted dad has been shopping his plan around to various locations in Sin City, asking that flights and accommodations be taken care of by the venue, as well as an additional fee of $50,000. That’s right – he’d pocket the cash. It’s no wonder Al Sharpton is all p*ssed off about stars receiving special treatment – these crazy celebufamilies
get loads of cash just to go get drunk (and NOT drive) in Vegas.

Hilton’s pops should seriously consider donating some of that dough to LA County. It’s apparently costing them over $1000 a day to keep his baby girl locked up, as opposed to the daily $100 us regular criminals drain from taxpayers.

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Kanye West Dissed by Birthday Cake

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Kanye Everyone’s favorite College Dropout had a birthday last week, and the celebs were out in full force to celebrate. Jay-Z, Diddy and Mariah all came out to pay Kanye their respects on his 30th at the Louis Vuitton flagship in New York, even if the caterers didn’t feel compelled to — apparently the Great One’s name was spelled incorrectly on the cake, as "Kayne." Also in attendance were Ashlee Simpson and Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz, who had earlier joked to VH1.com he was getting Kanye a knock-off Louis Vuitton bag for his birthday. Noticeably absent? Ye’s hip-hop hall pass buddy John Mayer. Their harpsichord-laced track "Bittersweet" leaked last week. A pre-Jessica John fills in the funny on the making of the first single off Kanye’s latest. 

Is Whoopi the New Rosie?

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That’s what the word on the Internet street is.  According to Star, the Oscar winner will be hopping into Rosie’s spot on The View with a year-to-year contract. Interestingly enough, this is the same kind of deal ABC execs did not offer O’Donnell, a move which set her resignation into motion. Aside from already having the funny and sassy thing down, Whoopi is a good fit, says one insider, because, "She also is liberal and outspoken but not crazy like Rosie was."

Not yet, anyway! Sitting around a table and sipping water out of a mug with your own face on it while discussing the sex lives of fifty-year old women would probably make anyone a little nuts.

Right Elisabeth?

Brit’s Mom Back in the Picture

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It looks like Britney really is trying to get her life back in order, starting with a reconciliation with her mom Lynne.  The two recently met for an hour at a massive Bel Air mansion (the Spears women are too good for Starbucks) accompanied by Brit’s bodyguards, little sister Jamie-Lynn, and J-L’s boyfriend, who added some much needed testosterone to the presumably emotional bunch.

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Claymates Be Crazy!

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Things got so heated on the message board of Clay Aiken‘s fan-made web presence, Clayonline.com, that the discussion area has been shut down. Apparently the seven-year old girls and lonely middle-aged women who frequent the site started throwing virtual punches in an argument debating their Idol’s sexual orientation. A source says, "The war is between the batty members that are still clinging to their
heterosexual fantasies of him and others that don’t harbor such
illusions."

This sounds better than The Sopranos finale – I can see the virtual blood splatters now!

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Christina & Her Candyman: Babyville?

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Following a trend that is as big with celebs as vintage Ray Bans and high-waisted shorts, Christina Aguilera has (possibly) jumped aboard the baby mama bandwagon.
The once "Dirrrty" pop star was recently spotted at the Maternal Fetal Medicine Association in NYC, an organization "known for their expertise in high-risk pregnancies and state-of-the-art ultrasounds." If that’s not proof enough, she was later seen walking through a crowd of paparazzi holding her stomach! The stomach hold!? That’s a classic Hollywood giveaway – obviously that means she’s packin’ a baby in there.

I can’t wait to see what Britney gets Christina when her baby’s born. Aguilera sent her a luxurious gift basket when Sean Preston popped out, so the always classy and generous Brit will probably reciprocate with two three big bags of Cheetos. 

Madonna’s Secret JFK Jr. Sex — Not

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Maddonnnnna In the forthcoming American Legacy, a new book about the sadly deceased JFK Jr., one of the scion’s friends from university told the author about an evening the Kennedy shared with Madonna in 1988. Apparently the two were at a fleabag Chicago hotel for a “secret rendezvous” (that’s how The New York Post puts it, anyway), when they realized they didn’t have protection. No glove, no love. Because both were so famous — and because both were also very much attached to significant others, Madonna to Sean Penn — they couldn’t just go to the Duane Reade and buy a pack of condoms. This was back when famous people knew what shame was. Doesn’t celebrity suck?