Blog Best-Of: Michelle’s Munching

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Micheller_links- Michelle Rodriguez comes out. She was in the closet for so long, she smells like mothballs. [A Socialite's Life]

- Beyoncé rocks a wet T-shirt on the cover of Vibe. What Girls Gone Wild is to real porn, this picture is to Girls Gone Wild. It’s enough to make your hand fall asleep…because it’s bored! [Bossip]

- Hilary Duff is so pale, she reflects light. Seriously, don’t look at the following pictures for too long because homegirl will burn the corneas right out of your head. [I'm Not Obsessed]

- Earth, Wind and…retire. Please. [Crunk + Disorderly]

- But seriously: butts. [CityRag]

Leading-the-Blind Items

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- When the girls have to compete in a fashion-show challenge on Charm School, will they get catty on the catwalk or prove to be model citizens?

- When the Fit Club-bers are brought to a mountain, will Dustin Diamond get even more high and mighty?

- When weird couples are trotted on Sunday’s Springer Hustle, will we see more love connections or love infections?

Catch previews of Celebrity Fit Club: Men Vs. Women, Charm School, Springer Hustle and more at VSPOT.

Bonus:

Some major drama goes down on this week’s Fit Club — get a taste of it here:

And check out Dustin’s further adventures in battling with truth and logic here:

Today’s Shot of Whitney Love

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Whit_heartWhere do broken hearts go? To TMZ.com, of course! Over the past few months, the pap-blog has been documenting Whitney Houston‘s nights on the town (many of which with sex-tape vet Ray J, who’s 17 years her junior). Today, TMZ presents the latest installment in the Whitney Leaves Place cycle, taped Thursday night, as Whit and Ray left the Beverley Hills spot Crustacean. In this one, Whit is as surly as a sidewalk without its crack, telling the paps to move aside and then taking matters into her own hands and moving them herself. Rugged! The cameras then catch up with Ray J, who leaves in a separate car after refusing to answer questions about the nature of his relationship with Whit. Oooh, a cliffhanger. Love it! [TMZ.com]

With TomKat, Jenna Makes Three

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Note to famous Scientologists: When you talk about other Scientologists, we don’t believe you. We know you have an agenda to seem as normal as possible, to make up for the aliens and niacin and such.

And so, it is with ease that I call bullstuff on Jenna Elfman‘s recent comments on her Scientologist brethren Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. "Honestly, they’re happy. They have a great life and they love each other. For some reason, the media cannot experience that. They must put in things other than the simplicity of it." These "things" include gossip like Tom ordering Katie to mommy school, Tom stalking Katie as she works, Tom’s general tyranny over the relationship, and mass speculation that the entire relationship is a sham (those pesky gay rumors!).

But anyway, as far as Jenna’s words go: Lies!

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Friday: Baldwin’s Apology and Spector’s Pistol Whip

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Baldwin2 Baldwin Apologizes on National TV
The actor was welcomed with an applause on "The View" today and gave a heartfelt tale of what drove him over the edge. He probably just has the temper of a warthog. Oink. Oink. [CNN]

Spector’s Ex: I Was Pistol Whipped
The rock producer allegedly bashed his ex-girlfriend in the head while drunk and made her strip at gunpoint. Order in the court! [Reuters]

Fan Tries to Kill Bullock’s Hubby
A woman obsessed with Sandra Bullock tried to run the star’s husband over with her Benz repeatedly. [People]

Are Eve and Sean Penn an Item?
The media speculates as the married actor gave her a shoulder to cry on and offered to bail her out of jail for 30k. Would we give them the moniker of Penn-E or E.S.P.? [NY Daily News]

‘Idol’ Raises $60 Million for Charity
While many say the two-hour special didn’t live up to the hype, it inspired thousands across the world to fight poverty. [Yahoo!]

[Image Source: Getty Images]

Shhh . . . Undercover Brit Bounces Back

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Britney’s comeback is happening faster than you might think. Fresh off whatever miracle diet/workout is available only to L.A. royalty, the disgraced former queen of teen pop is apparently on a House of Blues tour, starting next week in Anaheim. According to Interweb sources, she’ll be playing some old stuff and some new stuff, and she’s booked under the name the M + M’s. Is this because she loves junk food?

Darth Vader Hates You & Your Celly

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It’s no Celine Dion-Elvis duet — what is, though, really? — but it is Darth Vader strangling an obnoxious movie talker. There’s something extremely gratifying about that. Maybe it’s just that it’s Friday (so thanks, Rolling Stone.) Or maybe it’s that, geez, cellphones are irritating. What do you think?

Jones: No Sex / Cam: Jay’s “Old”

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070426_mike_jones Phony Jones Bones
Mike Jones has denied appearing in an online sex tape. The proof? Dude on the tape’s got no tats, snitches! (SOHH)

It Takes a Nation to Hold Snoop Back
Making like England, Australia has banned Snoop Dogg. “He doesn’t seem the sort of bloke we want in this country,” said an official rep. (AllHipHop)

Knight Protects Lady Britney
Suge Knight went after a K-Fed lookalike to defend the honor of … Britney Spears??? (TMZ)

Cam Apologizes!
Cam’ron offered up an apology for his killer interview on 60 Minutes (SOHH)

Cam Attacks!
Cam’ron calls Jay-Z and Nas old men and says they need to go back to the nursing home. Seriously, does this guy get along with anybody? (Prefix)

Blog Best-Of: Tyra’s Tip

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Tyra_links- Tyra Banks gives back…to the restaurant and waiter she recently stiffed. What a humanitarian. [Crunk + Disorderly]

- Justin Timberlake‘s wax doppelganger is approximately 5,000 times more soulful than he is. [I'm Not Obsessed]

- Pam Anderson returns to her Baywatch roots. This time, with added buoyancy! [The Superficial]

- Memo to Britney Spears: Wear pants. [Just Jared]

- According to People, Drew Barrymore is most beautiful. According to people, her voice is not. [Best Week Ever]

Dave Navarro Goes Gimp

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Former Chili Pepper, Rock Star: Supernova star and Carmen Electra-doer Dave Navarro has announced plans to host his own weekly hour-long Internet show, which will premiere May 17. Called Spread Entertainment, Navarro described it as a “looser version of Donahue in a nightclub.” Yes, audience members will be able to ask guests questions. But guests will be chosen on the basis of their appeal, not whether or not they’re hawking a book, album or movie. “I want to use the Internet to support artists and see things that are out there that other corporate structures aren’t allowing us to see,” Navarro says. He’s not kidding. Check out his video playlist (after the jump). If you let it go awhile, you’ll get to see the ad he shot in night-vision where he’s trussed up and groaning with a ball-gag in his mouth. Just another day in the life.

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