Lauryn Hill delivers her best performance since the 1999 Grammy Awards (remember when she actually made good music?) in a video recently uploaded to YouTube, and she doesn’t sing a note. For almost 15 minutes Lauryn, who’s rocking a bag-lady-does-Oprah look, mugs (see above), uses the phrase “Western paradigm,” and rambles about her career and fame. She does this all in a borderline belligerent manner that totally reminds me of a pre-zonked Whitney Houston, Newport-nasty voice and all. Oh, and adding to the weirdness, the interviewer facilitating Lauryn’s chatter is none other than the sister of Technotronic rapper Ya Kid K. I know! Lauryn, it would seem, is at the tipping point and it’s freakin’ genius. It’s soooooo good to have her back.

Watch the video and read some of the best, most self-important quotes from it after the jump:

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If the Darth Vader remix of “Chocolate Rain” didn’t take it to the level you like, Mr John Mayer and Mr. Sharrod Small have an update. The guys bust the quacky InterWeb hit out of Tay Zonday‘s basso profundo register and put a little falsetto on it. Good clean fun. Though we’re still not sure that we forgive Mayer for his equestrian romancing (scroll down past Alicia).

In the August issue of Sister 2 Sister, (aka, the best magazine evarrrrr!) 50 Cent touches on his years-old beef with Lil’ Kim. He clears the air about as well as an AK-47, first proclaiming that there isn’t any beef and then proceeding to insult her. He’s always into something! Says Fiddy:

“I don’t have beef with her. She just had bad people around her. I think when a woman presents herself as a woman, she deserves special treatment. And then when she get beside — when it’s, ‘F*** that!’ then it gets different. Then I start feeling like she’s a man. So she gets the same treatment that you would treat a guy that was being disrespectful.“

50 never reveals exactly what that “treatment” is, and interviewtrix Jamie Foster Brown doesn’t ask. Maybe she was too scared to? [Sister 2 Sister / Image credit: Getty]

Apparently Tim McGraw has got that “special something” that drives fans to totally violate his personal space. Earlier this week video surfaced of a lady-fan grabbing his junk (followed by a serious verbal beatdown from his wife Faith Hill), and now there’s a new clip of an audience member accidentally grabbing a ring off his hand during a concert. Tim, like his wife, doesn’t stand for it, and stops singing to continuously demand his jewels back. Maybe McGraw needs to put up some sort of barrier between himself and the audience when he performs – that’ll give Faith some time to teach ‘em all about class!