Nick Cannon is Whipped

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Mr. Mariah Carey was busy rubbing shoulders with the likes of Quincy Jones and Diddy at the celeb-packed party at Foxwoods last week, when his wifey called him up making demands. Mimi was at a photoshoot for Elle magazine, and wanted her man there to watch her “work.” Nick was summoned to the shoot and stayed with his sugar-mama until the shoot wrapped at 5:3o AM. Not the best way to spend your night, but it could have been worse – Mariah’s assistant was also around with a blender in hand, constantly making protein shakes for her boss. Divas do it right, natch! [NYP]

Which David is Your New Idol King?

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OMG! Even though Archuleta was a delicate songbird with a crazy dad who kicked Cook‘s ass this week, he still lost to the 25-year old rocker! Now the real drama begins – will little David be the Clay to big David’s Ruben? Will David Cook have a career that rivals Carrie Underwood’s, or is he already resigned to the same fate as Taylor What’s-his-name-with-the-grey-hair? So many questions, so little time. One thing’ for sure, last night’s Gladys Knight and the Pips sketch (Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Robert Downey, Jr) was pretty damn good. The American Idols Live tour starts in a month! [Us]

R. Kelly Trial Forecaster: Prosecution Scores Points

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(The VH1 Blog knows very little about the law. So we’ve solicited Mark Muro, a founder of the California law firm Muro & Lampe, Inc., to keep a running tab on which side has the advantage in the R. Kelly child pornography trial. Check back daily for updates.)

The prosecution wasted no time to fill the void left from an alleged victim who refuses to cooperate. This alleged victim, it’s important to note, is not just a minor character in the trial, but the woman who is alleged to have been in the sex tape with R. Kelly at approximately 14 years old. In an attempt to link both R. Kelly and the alleged victim to the sex tape, the prosecution called witnesses today to combat the defense claim of mistaken identities. The most important witness called was a former friend of the alleged victim, Simha Jamison. Jamison testified that she and the alleged victim were best friends from childhood, and that the two socialized with R. Kelly multiple times, including a visit to the home where the prosecution claims the sex tape was filmed.

After viewing the sex tape today, Simha Jamison identified R. Kelly as the man in the video. She also identified the alleged victim as the girl in the sex tape, recognizing not just her distinctive hair style (a mullet) but also her face. “I kind of know her like the back of my hand,” Jamison said. Jamison has not yet been cross-examined, but her testimony so far was probably strong enough to score some points for the prosecution with the jury. — Mark Muro, Attorney
[via Chicago Sun-Times]

Score:
Defense = -1
Prosecution = +2

Tila Tequila Calls It Quits

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According to Tila’s Hot Spot Journal, the reality TV star informed Entertainment Weekly that she’ll shy away from fame at the conclusion of this season’s A Shot at love With Tila Tequila.

“I wanna do meaningful stuff. After a while you reach your goals and then what? You just prance around like Paris Hilton all day long and feel like you have to find the next scandal to stay big. This lifestyle is fun and I worked hard for it, but I think in the long run, it’s a lot. I just wanna be in love for the rest of my life and move to an island and have kids.”

Living on an island may fit her penchant for wearing bikinis, but will she be happy if no one’s around to see her smoking body? Plus, does the person in the following photos look like they’re concerned with doing meaningful stuff?

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Tila, you know you need the limelight. It’s time to join us.

Gossip Break: Ali Lohan Looks 40

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ali-lohan.jpgAerosmith’s Stephen Tyler is going to rehab. [TMZ]

Ali Lohan is looking dangerously older than her big sis. [DListed]

Kristi Yamaguchi won Dancing With The Stars last night. Isn’t ice skating like, the same thing but without blades? Cheater! [Seriously? OMG!]

Pete Doherty has never looked better (or more sober)! [Jezebel]

That creepy dude who founded the Backstreet Boys is headed to jail for 25 years. Talk about a comeback. [ICYDK]

Did Britney bang the pool boy at her Costa Rican resort? [CelebSlam]

Free MP3 From Duffy!

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You might recognize our You Oughta Know artist Duffy from this week’s charts: the Welsh cutie with the soulful pipes released her debut Rockferry in the States and ended up in the number four spot! See — we’d never lead you astray. If you still haven’t heard her, we’re offering you a free MP3 of her song “Mercy,” which she recorded live at Royal Albert Hall in London. Check it out.

Audrina Likes Justin Bobby & So Do We

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Look look! Audrina is still toting Justin Bobby around town, which means somewhere in The Hills, Lauren Conrad is crying. Excellent! He may be a dud, but Justin Bobby’s a stud (an unfortunate rhyme) and this time around we’re smitten. Let’s hope he’s got some staying power – someone needs to put Lo in her place next season!

Tila Tequila 2: Chad Destroys Bo’s Face, Tila Has a Lesbian Spat (Ep. 5 Recap)

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Here are the most ridiculous moments of Episode 5.

CHAD’S VIOLENT OUTBURST, ROUND II

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After Chad attacked Bo’s face, splitting his gum (and teeth) in half, he bumped chests and high-fived his “brodog” Jay, who instigated the fight in the first place. “That’s how we rep in Detroit, baby!” Chad shouted. Did he mean that people in the Motor City will sucker headbutt and punch you when you don’t expect it? The way Chad was celebrating his manhood, you would think that he had just knocked Bo out. But Bo was still standing and lucid after the cheap shots. Hopefully, the security that escorted Chad out of the house delivered him straight to a state mental hospital, because he clearly needs pills and electric shock therapy.

Read more…

Tila Tequila Turns Up The Heat

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F*ck barbecues! Feast your eyes on the number #1 reason we’re excited for summer: this Tila Tequila cover of King magazine, coming out June 3. The rag says, “ Along with her steamiest shoot yet, the pint-size freak comes clean about her criminal record, stripper days and schoolgirl fantasies.”

Hot fun in the summertime! [via Bossip]