You know how Akon toiled in a Georgia jail for four years for his illegal work as the head of a car-heist ring? His tales of thievin’ and fighting behind bars after facing up to 75 years for a felony charge are a common theme in his songs and interviews, but it turns out it never really happened! The Smoking Gun did a whole lotta research on the Kon’s shady past, and while the rapper does have a lengthy rap sheet, the only felony he ever received was for a gun possession charge, for which he got just three months probation. In fact, the longest Akon’s ever spent in jail was just a few months, after he was busted for stealing a BMW. His rep as a “ringleader of a notorious car theft operation” – which he loves to boast about – is a total sham, presumably created by the rapper to appear tough to his millions of fans. Turns out that after all his bogus tales of life as a notorious felon, this might be his biggest con job of all. [Smoking Gun]

We can’t get enough of these gems from an interview with Rachel Ritfield, the woman who was to be Akon‘s fourth wife. Sadly, when push came to shove, the model just couldn’t force herself to walk down the aisle with the polygamous rapper. Rachel said, “I want a man who thinks that I’m God’s gift to creation and I can think the same of him.” Well then what was she doing with Akon in the first place? Isn’t he a notorious man ho? Apparently dry-humping underage fans can really turn a woman on. Rachel was not freaked out by the whole plural marriage thing at first, claiming “Akon was honest with me about his mutiple wives from the start, which never got in the way of our relationship because his wives live in various parts of the world, so I thought why fix it if it’s not broken?”

Fix what? Our culture’s attitude toward men who marry multiple women? Akon’s screwy relationships? Sadly, Rachel didn’t get the hint until Akon had kid number five with one of his wifeys. Rachel finally realized that Akon was still boning other chicks even though he acted like she was the only piece of ass in his life, and she bailed. “The one thing I wanted from Akon was for him to be monogamous to me but he could not grant me my wish,” she lamented.

Hang in there girl! There are plenty of other creepy-ass rich dudes just yearning for a hot model like yourself. You’ll get your wish! [Image: Rachel's MySpace]