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Listen up. You look REALLY good in this video clip from your second stint on How I Met Your Mother. We’re talking pre-Federline good. Now that’s something! So could you please hire whoever is styling you on set and bring them home to your Beverly Hills lair and pay them loads of cash to help you look this good as you parade to the dance studio everyday? Trust us - this is the best advice you’ve gotten since your parents told you to get rid of Sam Lutfi, and your hair will look infinitely better than it does now.
Britney Jean Spears is set to actually make an appearance at a custody hearing today, and will reportedly ask the judge for more time with her sons Sean and Jayden. If she can remain mentally stable (no caffeine, girlfriend!) and brush her hair a bit, we think the judge should rule in her favor! Brit may be still be a bit crazy, but she’s currently clocking in low on the train wreck scale - a big improvement from her disastrous days earlier this year! We’ll be rooting for her - and for the stylist who does Brit’s hair, make up and clothes on the set of How I Met Your Mother(pic above). We hope Brit hires you for everyday help! [PopCrunch]
Britney Spears left the safety of Malibu to head to her hometown of Kentwood, LA for her sister’s bridal shower and guess what, the party was apparently “normal!” This not only the first time Brit’s been back to Kentwood in over a year, but it’s also the first time she’s been described as normal in ages. All in all this trip was a huge success! A guest in attendance said that, “Jamie Lynn opened every gift. We all sat in a circle and she opened gifts and thanked every person. It was just a good old-fashioned baby shower.”
B kept it so real in honor of her lil sis, that she got all dolled up in a dress to smoke on the porch and then headed back home to Cali in a sexy get-up of tiny pink shorts and white wedge flip flops. The singer really embodies the greatest joy of motherhood - dressing trashing. Jamie-Lynn has so much to look forward too! [People]
Oops! Britney went a little crazy last year, and she’s got the empty bank account. Since her head-shaving meltdown, Brit’s spent over $61 million dollars on legal fees, rehab, and hospital care - not too mention all the clothes, bags, Mercedes and lighters she picked up along her tumultuous journey.
Because B didn’t tour - or do anything, really - when her album Blackout dropped, she screwed herself out of close to$50 million! But now that papa Jamie is in control of her cash flow, things have evened out. “She’s spending about a fifth of what she used to,” says an insider. Yup, Britney’s making her own coffee at home and bringing it with her to work at the dance studio! Now THAT’S how you save money, peeps. [In Touch]
Oh gross. It’s the biggest mistake the world’s ever seen since, well, they first got together: Britney and Kevin may be on the road to reconciling their love. They recently shared a kiss - their first since they split - when Kev arrived to pick up Sean and Jayden after a visit with their mom. “They were discussing the boys and how they’re doing,” said a source in the know, “when she suddenly got in close and kissed Kevin. She did it because she felt so close to him at that moment.”
Who are these insiders who just happen to be right there when Britney and Kevin lock lips and why aren’t they trying to stop this obvious disaster?! The spy also reported that K-Fed was possibly a bit shocked by Brit’s bold move, claiming that he asked her “Should we do this in front of the boys?” We’re sure it’s fine Kev - they’ve already seen their mom hauled off in a police car naked, as well as all that other crazy crap they’ve witnessed for two years. A kiss is child’s play to, uh, your children. It’s how they were made, afterall. [Star]
Papa Spears - who deserves mad props for stabilizing his wild daughter - is determined to get her finances back on track with some work hawking furniture made in Denmark. How do you say “It’s just like a mini-mall” in Danish? Jamie is in cahoots with Claus Hjelmbak, who is the same dude who runs those big bashes at the Scandinavian Style Mansion, where Brit, Paris and LiLo have all gotten big bucks for hosting gigs. Sounds like a perfect business partner! Hjelmbak and Papa Spears have been allegedly working on the deal for a couple of months, but nothing has been finalized. We’re desperate for a new love seat and bedroom set, and we’d rather buy from Brit than Ikea. Work at it, girl! [NYP]
Daddy do-gooder Kevin Federline’s been super busy this year, spending Brit’s cash like it’s his job. Oh wait - that pretty much IS his job these days. According to documents submitted by his lawyers, Fed’s dropped cash on everything from strippers - $2000 for a $365 bill - and nights out at clubs, where he plunked down over $3000. He even spent almost $1500 for clothes at Versace. Who knew they sold couture jean shorts and white socks! Perhaps most hilariously is this number: $74,102 on music production, even though his music career earned him just $9849 in income. We’re dying to know what else Kev has blown his Britney allowance on. Care to guess?
- $1000 for Mini Britney (a midget impersonator) to come perform at Sean and Jayden’s joint birthday bash.
- $12,756 on suits for court (K-Fed wears them once and tosses them, obvs)
- $650 for yearly subscriptions to Us Weekly, People, Star, OK!, In Touch and Oprah Magazine. To keep up with Britney - and his main girl O.
Brit’s still got it, ya’ll! But just as she’s about to comeback with a hot new look and lots of pap attention, she’s allegedly shacking up with K-Fed again to see if they can rekindle their, uh, love. That’s what Star is saying, and they have a source to prove it! “Kevin wants to take Britney away to see if there is anything to salvage between them,” an insider reveals. “When he suggested it to her, she told him she was ready to go anytime he was.”
Britney wait! Before you go down this hellish road all over again, take a second to look at how far you’ve come! You’ve gotten rid of your frapp addiction and we haven’t seen your vag in months! You’re reconnecting with your ex-manager! You wear shoes! You’re a new woman - or at least newer. The last thing weyou need is a little dose of K-Fed to send you skidding down that hill again. Stay straight Brit!
The animal rights organization PETA has asked Britney Spears, notorious fur-lover and tiny dog hoarder, to come work at their headquarters for a day as a receptionist. Apparently her blink-and-you’ll-miss-it gig on How I Met Your Mother has inspired PETA head Ingrid Newkirk to bury the hatchet with the pop star. In an open letter published on the group’s blog, she writes:
“After seeing your excellent performance on How I Met Your Mother, PETA would like to offer you a real job as a receptionist. It could be for as little as an hour, and you would see—from the inside—why we are so concerned about issues like fur and homeless dogs and cats. As a “thank you” for your willingness to learn and help, we would donate $1,000 to a children’s charity.”
Chill out PETA. Brit isn’t ever going to “tell people about the misery that foxes, chinchillas, and other animals suffer on fur farms,” because her wardrobe depends on that misery! And without fur, what would cover up her stained dresses and her nipple slips? Seriously, what is more important - the life of innocent animals or the hiding of Brit’s vag behind a fur coat?! Yeah, we thought so.
Madonna stuck her tongue down Britney Spears‘ throat in front of millions of TV viewers, so why shouldn’t she break a sweat to Brit’s music during her daily exercise routine? The 150-50-year-old superstar told New York’s Z100-FM radio station that like many other pop fans, she digs Blackout and blasts it while doing pilates and dance aerobics. Listen to the interview.
It also seems that she likes it better than her own songbook: “I’m not sure I can sing ‘Holiday’ or ‘Like A Virgin’ ever again,” she admitted during the interview. “I just can’t – unless somebody paid me like $30 million or something. [Maybe if] some Russian guy wants me to come to the wedding he’s going to have to a 17-year-old, you know it.”
Okay Russian guy, the ball’s in your court.
What songs by Madge and Brit get you in the mood to sweat?
Tommy Lee got up to a different kind of mischief in the skies recently. Undoubtedly already a member of the Mile High Club, Mr. Lee commissioned the first ever tattoo administered at a high altitude. The Motley Crue drummer had a peacock tattooed on his thigh for the entirety of a five hour flight. Ouch.
With this, and the recent news that Fall Out Boy were attempting to play a concert on every continent to get into the Guinness Book of World Records, it got us thinking about some of the other records that celebs have already set, whether Guinness acknowledges them or not.
Mariah Carey — Shortest Skirts Worn on Stage
Paula Abdul — Most Unintelligible Sentences Strung Together During a Live Television Broadcast
Britney Spears — Most Hours Spent Driving Around In A Car (officials have to check, but Spears is suspected to have logged the circumference of the earth three times in mileage)
Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt — Most Shameless and Exploitive Usage of Children, Animals and Holidays for Self-Promotion
Britney Spears left the safety of Malibu to head to her hometown of Kentwood, LA for her sister’s bridal shower and guess what, the party was apparently “normal!” This not only the first time Brit’s been back to Kentwood in over a year, but it’s also the first time she’s been described as normal in ages. All in all this trip was a huge success! A guest in attendance said that, “Jamie Lynn opened every gift. We all sat in a circle and she opened gifts and thanked every person. It was just a good old-fashioned baby shower.”
Oops! Britney went a little crazy last year, and she’s got the empty bank account. Since her head-shaving meltdown, Brit’s spent over $61 million dollars on legal fees, rehab, and hospital care - not too mention all the clothes, bags, Mercedes and lighters she picked up along her tumultuous journey.
Oh gross. It’s the biggest mistake the world’s ever seen since, well, they first got together: Britney and Kevin may be on the road to reconciling their love. They recently shared a kiss - their first since they split - when Kev arrived to pick up Sean and Jayden after a visit with their mom. “They were discussing the boys and how they’re doing,” said a source in the know, “when she suddenly got in close and kissed Kevin. She did it because she felt so close to him at that moment.”
Daddy do-gooder Kevin Federline’s been super busy this year, 
Madonna stuck her tongue down Britney Spears‘ throat in front of millions of TV viewers, so why shouldn’t she break a sweat to Brit’s music during her daily exercise routine? The 
Mariah Carey — Shortest Skirts Worn on Stage
Paula Abdul — Most Unintelligible Sentences Strung Together During a Live Television Broadcast
Britney Spears — Most Hours Spent Driving Around In A Car (officials have to check, but Spears is suspected to have logged the circumference of the earth three times in mileage)
Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt — Most Shameless and Exploitive Usage of Children, Animals and Holidays for Self-Promotion
Kanye West — Most Humble Artist
