Notice that Mike Myers has not made our list, even though he’s dropping his new film, The Love Guru, this weekend. His flick’s terrible reviews may have totally turned us off, but we’re still down to be love gurued (fake word?) by some other hilarious kinda-hotties. It’s Friday, so kick back and enjoy our list of 10 Kinda Hot Comedy Dudes We’d Let Be Our Love Guru. Because kinda hot + super funny = a decent date, without the annoying stories about how awesome it was making Shrek. Sexy!

THE LIST

Bernie Mac - His hair is cute, his suit is seriously pressed, and we’d get to hear him say “milk and cooookies” over and over again.

Jason Segal - So what if he has a case of fat face in his pic above - just his performance in Freaks n’ Geeks alone makes him dateable. And he loves to be naked! A winner.

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Movie premieres, awards shows, benefit concerts, and plain old clubbin’ – even though most of us are at home, the beautiful peeps are living it up somewhere. About Last Night puts you in touch with all the action.

Renee Zellweger, Tina Fey, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, and Matthew Broderick walked the yellow carpet at the Bee Movie premiere in NYC.

Tila Tequila (in teeny tiny overalls), Xhibit, and Panic! at the Disco attended Gavin Maloofs Exclusive Housewarming Party.

Many celebs such as Gwen Stefani, Diddy, Jay-Z, L.A. Reid, Petra Nemcova, Bono, Iman, and David Bowie got glamorous for a good cause at the Conde Nast 4th Annual Black Ball for the “Keep A Child Alive” foundation.

Kim Kardashian, Bai Ling, and Marques Houston were among those who attended the Somebody Help Me premiere.

Just when you’d totally forgotten about that wacko paternity case that Chris Rock found himself embroiled in earlier this year, the DNA test results are in! And Chris is cleared! He and his wife, Malaak, have released a statement on the matter:

“Last week it was concluded through DNA testing that Chris is not the father of [Kali] Bowyer’s son. We have spent a tremendous sum to litigate this case and are asking our attorney to pursue all legal remedies against her. Additionally, we would like for any monies Ms. Bowyer has taken from the tabloid media based on this false story to be donated to Bulloch County, GA charities for the benefit of disadvantaged boys and girls.“

Yeah, that’ll happen the minute they can wrestle Kali away from the diaper aisle, where she’s hobbing with that astronaut lady. But for real: congrats, Chris! May your sperm, or lack thereof, continue to smile good fortune upon you. [TMZ.com]

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Russian Pays $1.2 Million for J.Lo
A billionaire bought a 40-minute concert for his wife’s b-day bash. [People]

La Lohan Leaves Knightley’s Lesbian Flick
Lindsay threw a "Mean Girl" and quit Keira Knightley’s new movie, shattering any chance that their girl-on-girl action will make it to the big screen. [Fox]

Chris Rock’s Alleged Baby Mama: Scams, Lies & DUI’s
Cops say the woman has been full of s**t for years: stealing, partying, making up wild stories and even running an elaborate cell scam. [TMZ]

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Chris Rock, straight up:

"When you’re a comedian, it’s like being a porn star. People have seen you do this thing so naked. Anytime you’re not funny, it’s like, ‘What are you doing?’"

It’s comforting that Chris Rock is drawing the parallel between comedy and porn instead of someone like, oh say, Gallagher. Can you imagine that mess? Or even Carrot Top — who wants to see that? [New York Daily News]

Remember when Chris Rock filed for divorce from his wife, Malaak, in November? They don’t! At least that’s how it seemed on Wednesday’s episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show, during  which the pair showed no signs of deviation from wedded bliss. It was weird. New York Daily News reports that  the seeming divorce motion may actually have been a matter of ironing out a post-nup agreement, and that furthermore, the producers of Chris’ I Think I Love My Wife (due out March 16) have urged him to halt all of such proceedings until the film has been sufficiently promoted. Because if there’s one thing the American public loves, it’s a happily married couple with neatly arranged finances.

Who knows what this means for the future of Chris and Malaak. There’s been buzz of a Brangelina-like fling from the set of Wife between Chris and his co-star Kerry Washington. Ooh! If they haven’t already, they should hook up. Then, we could all start calling them "Cherry." [New York Daily News]