The 17th Annual Critics’ Choice Movie Awards are set to air this Thursday, January 12, only on VH1. Hosts Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel are presiding over the festivities, which will not only feature a bevy of Hollywood’s A-List in attendance, but will also include Martin Scorsese receiving the Music + Film Award. This morning, we just received the news that the ceremony will also pay tribute to Sean Penn, who is being honored with the Joel Siegel Award for his contributions to humanitarian efforts in Haiti.

The full press release is below.

SEAN PENN TO RECEIVE JOEL SIEGEL AWARD
AT THE 17th ANNUAL CRITICS’ CHOICE MOVIE AWARDS

GEORGE CLOONEY TO PRESENT AWARD TO PENN

AWARDS CEREMONY TO BE BROADCAST LIVE ON VH1
THURSDAY, JANUARY 12, 2012 AT 8:00 PM ET/PT

(SANTA MONICA, CA – January 9, 2012) — The Broadcast Film Critics Association (BFCA) announced today that renowned actor and humanitarian Sean Penn will be presented with the fifth annual Joel Siegel Award at the 17th annual Critics’ Choice Movie Awards. The award will be presented by fellow actor and 13-time Critics’ Choice Award nominee George Clooney. The ceremony will air live on VH1 on Thursday, January 12 at 8:00 PM ET/PT.

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In just one week (on Friday, January 22), the likes of George Clooney, Wyclef Jean and Anderson Cooper will appear on the Hope for Haiti telethon, which will air on VH1 among its many simulcasted networks. Check the press release below for more info, and keep your eye on this blog for further updates:

In response to the devastating earthquake in Haiti, MTV Networks is presenting Hope for Haiti, a global telethon to air commercial-free across ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX, CNN, BET, The CW, HBO, MTV, VH1, and CMT on Friday, January 22, 2010 at 8:00 p.m. ET/PT and 7:00 p.m. CT. Hope for Haiti will also be made available to MTV Networks International, CNN International and National Geographic channels worldwide.

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We were kinda shocked when the Cloonster dumped random hottie Sarah Larson, because she seemed like a great catch (and only 29!) and enjoyed hanging off his arm and looking pretty 24/7. But George can’t be bothered with the same lady for too long, so off Sarah went into the LA sunset as quickly as she had arrived. But now we’re finally learning why George got rid of her: he hated her fake breasts! Does this make him more or less of a man? The actor was apparently not into Larson’s recent boob job, and while he let her recover from the surgery at his house, he was NOT happy about the whole thing and thus got rid of his girl. Sadly, she didn’t find out until she read it in the tabloids along with the rest of the world. Stars’ girlfriends – they really ARE just like us!

But never fear, Sarah is a celeb now and is ready to show off what made her “famous.” An insider says: “She likes her new body so much that she would consider posing for Playboy. Now that she’s famous, she’d never go back to cocktailing.” Cheers to that!

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Hollywood’s favorite hot old bachelor has split from his bangin’ 29-year old girlfriend, Sarah Larson. The former Vegas cocktail waitress started dating George Clooney in 2007, and was the first girlfriend ever to attend the Oscars on his arm. She also totally loves to strip off her clothes and party, as seen in the photograph above. In short – she is the best girlfriend EVER, and the former Facts of Life star is an idiot for letting her go. And just why did Georgie give her the boot? Says his reps: “We do not comment on George’s personal life.”

But do they comment on George’s stupidity? Cuz now might be a good time to start!

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It’s been a whirlwind few months for Sarah Larson. After crossing paths with professional movie star George Clooney, Larson was able to quit her job as a cocktail waitress/go-go dancer/embarassing-photo-taker. Now, apparently, she lives wherever George does, on hiatus as a Vegas waitress, and, if this brand new New Yorker profile on Clooney is to be believed, checking her e-mail.

As reported in said New Yorker story, Clooney recently received a threatening phone call, a voice mail stating, “Dump the bitch before you’re sorry.” Ms. Larson reacts with little alarm, but does go on to clear the air about her reputation, which has recently come into question after some seriously revealing photos surfaced. “They say that I’m a stripper. There’s a ton of stuff about that. I’ve never been a stripper. You know, just because I’m from Las Vegas I must be a stripper. Because I’m a cocktail server that means I’m an escort.”

Good points all, Sarah. We decided, given her newfound lifestyle, to do a side-by-side comparison of Larson’s life as Professional Bar Candy and life as Professional Arm Candy.

Pre-George: Magazine licking
Post-George: Magazine features

Pre-George: Staff dinners before shift at the Palms for waitresses
Post-George: Dinners with Brangelina

Pre-George: Fear Factor try-outs
Post-George: Red carpet premieres

Pre-George: Serving guys twice your age because they tip you
Post-George: Serving a guy twice your age because they take you to Italy

Pre-George: Getting called an escort because you are a Vegas waitress
Post-George: Getting called an escort because you sleep with a movie star

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Props to Star Magazine for unearthing these amazing pics taken by Last Night’s Party of George Clooney‘s girlfriend, Sarah Larson, getting randy and raunchy in Las Vegas (example above, obvs). The 28-year old was a cocktail waitress in Sin City before shacking up with Hollywood’s hottest bachelor, and now she’s living large in couture gowns, enjoying fabulous dinners out. George may be a good influence on his gal pal, but surely this party princess is still lurking under the surface, waiting to pop out at a big bash at Brangelina’s house. Fingers crossed!

Check out a couple more pics of Sarah getting it on with a guy at a Vegas bash – here and here. What happens in Vegas stays on the internet! [Last Night's Party]

At the 80th annual Academy Awards last night, there were a few upsets: Marion Cotillard (La Vie En Rose) was named Best Actress, taking the honor from the heavily favored Julie Christie (Away From Her); similarly, Tilda Swinton (Michael Clayton) took home Best Supporting Actress, despite conventional wisdom holding that the award belonged to Amy Ryan (Gone Baby Gone). Kudos to Swinton, it must be said, for managing to reference George Clooney’s hugely embarrassing, be-nippled turn as Batman in her acceptance speech.

Elsewhere, as expected, the Coen brothers took home Best Picture, Best Director and Best Adapted Screenplay for No Country For Old Men. Daniel Day-Lewis won Best Actor for his portrayal of Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood. Javier Bardem took Best Supporting Actor for his role as Anton Chigurh in No Country For Old Men. Overnight success-story Diablo Cody won Best Original Screenplay for Juno. And Daily Show host Jon Stewart kept the evening’s proceedings running smoothly, gently cracking wise at the audience’s expense.

There were very few stand-out moments, but our favorite had to be Stewart’s dissection of Democratic Party presidential candidate Barack Hussein Obama’s name (Hussein recalling Saddam Hussein; Obama recalling Osama). When he referenced the ill-fated 1944 presidential campaign of Gaydolph Titler, we laughed. A lot.

In case you’ve somehow forgotten about Sunday night’s Academy Awards broadcast, we’re here to remind you that practically everyone with a computer has been offering their predictions online. That includes George Clooney: Mr. Suave sat down with Time magazine to tell them who he thinks will win. (His guesses seem pretty accurate.) In the midst of all this, however, you might have also forgotten about that other art-form generated by all this Oscar-buzz: the parody. Our tireless reporters here scoured the Interweb to find funny versions of the films nominated for Best Picture. Laugh a little — it’s Friday.

No Country For Old Men is good . . . but is it this good?

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Each year the act of predicting which artists will take home a Oscar becomes one of pop culture’s greatest guessing games. Someone picks a category, and everyone becomes a pundit. That includes us. We want your comments, too. Do you think our choices are right? Watch the show on Sunday night, and check back Monday morning for a recap of all the memorable moments.

Best Picture

Atonement
British upstart James McAvoy and stick-thin Keira Knightley play a couple torn apart by World War II — and Knightley’s little sister, Saorise Ronan, whose despicable lies turn the lovers’ families against them. The book was excellent. The movie . . . eh, not so much.

Juno
Canadian cuteness Ellen Page is a knocked-up and very sarcastic teen who attempts to give her unborn child up for adoption to Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner. The script’s verbal pyrotechnics are impressive — as are Michael Cera’s bandied knees — but does it have the heat to beat out No Country For Old Men? In a word: no.

Michael Clayton
It’s George Clooney in the titular role as a fixer for a law firm. When one of the firm’s top lawyers has a mental breakdown in the middle of a deposition, Clooney’s called in to fix the mess, which has to do with a class-action suit against an agricultural manufacturing company. It’s complicated, but then again, good films sometimes are.

No Country For Old Men
When Josh Brolin stumbles across the remains of a drug deal gone bad, he pockets the cash and hightails it away from the scene. Unfortunately, both the law and a merciless, Terminator-like psychopath are hot on his trail. The killer, played by Javier Bardem, has a bad haircut and nasty temper. It’s a quiet, contemplative orgy of violence.

There Will Be Blood
Daniel Day-Lewis is oil prospector Daniel Plainview, whose business conflicts with the religious interests of Eli Sunday (Paul Dano), a preacher in a desolate California town. The lives of the two are inexorably intertwined after an accident at one of the wells. As time goes on, Daniel becomes a capitalist monster and Eli loses his faith. No film this decade has an uglier ending, although No Country For Old Men comes close.

Should win: It’s a toss-up between No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood. Both offer particularly bleak visions of America. In the former, the Coen brothers interpret Cormac McCarthy’s novel as an existential treatise on the meaninglessness of life; in the latter, Paul Thomas Anderson converts Upton Sinclair’s Oil! into a wrenching screed about the seductive evils of capitalism. (Yes, we just wrote “seductive evils.” So what?) That said, for pure brilliance and artistic achievement, No Country is the more successful film.

Will win: No Country For Old Men.

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jamie-lynn-spears-115x.jpgGeorge Clooney may be looking to add yet another job description to his ever-growing resume; in addition to actor, director, political pundit and witty manwhore, he’s added the role of taking cheap shots at pop culture figures. During an interview regarding Nicole Kidman‘s recently announced pregnancy, Clooney stated, “At least she’s not 16,” which seems an unnecessary jab at the already stressed Jamie Lynn Spears.

Of Kidman, Clooney added, “[She'll be a] perfect mother,” clearly forgetting, much like both Kidman and ex-husband Tom Cruise, that she already has two children.