Awwww, look! It’s little Honor Warren, Jessica Alba’s precious baby. As much as Alba and her permanent pout annoy the sh*t out of us, we have to admit we kinda love this tot. Her peaceful little face! Her full head of hair! We’re in love - dare we say we might even like her Mommy? Er - not so fast. Honor may be sweet, but Jessica is just so damn annoying. Example:

“I didn’t scream,” she says of giving birth. “It was really Zen.”

Blergh, of course it was. She probably was busy biting on her Balenciaga bag to keep from screaming. Everything Alba does is perfect and peaceful and totally ideal! “The labor was more like meditation,” she says. “I did yoga breathing. I was focused.”

Ugh, just like we’re focused on what an annoyingly perfect piece of ass she is. But still, the baby! So cute.

Jessica Alba has finally popped out her much-discussed baby girl this weekend, and men’s mags are already ready to offer the newborn the cover - in 2028. Honor Marie Warren is sure to be the most beautiful baby, child, teen, and lady in the world! Move over Shiloh, there’s a new hot baby in town. Little deets are known about Alba’s new daughter, who was born in Los Angeles on Saturday. Her hubby Cash Warren was spotted bringing food into the maternity ward on Sunday, and Alba has revealed in the past that she’s “paranoid” about breastfeeding. Sounds like they’re off to a great start! Oh and lest we forget our manners - congratulations.

If you’re bothered by the idea of a girl being nothing more than a notch on a guy’s bedpost, then read no further. Still reading? Hmmm. You may be interested to know that Sports Illustrated has calculated that Yankees star Derek Jeter and rocker John Mayer have dated 11 of the girls on Maxim’s 2008 Hot 100 List:

We couldn’t help but wonder who has the better resume: Jeter or John Mayer? Jeter comes to the table with Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel, Mariah Carey, Gabrielle Union, Jessica Alba and Vanessa Minillo. Mayer counters with Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly and Cameron Diaz. We hate to admit it, but we’d have to say, advantage Mayer.

Without even broaching the subject of objectification, Sports Illustrated is so wrong. First, is there any combination of hotties in this world that tops Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba? Also, the magazine has its facts wrong: Jennifer Anison is not included in this year’s list. So who has the “advantage” now? Check photos of both manwhores’ girlfriends conquests and see where Maxim ranks them by reading the full list after the jump.

Jeter’s Harem:

See more photos of Mariah Carey, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, Gabrielle Union, Jessica Alba and Vanessa Minillo at Maxim.com.

Mayer’s Harem:

Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly and Cameron Diaz at Maxim.com.

Read the rest of this entry »

Jessica Alba celebrated her impending motherhood with a baby shower this weekend, complete with all the Hollywood trimmings: cute location, fancy gifts, classy party favors, famous guests, and Kim Kardashian. Wait, what? Kim was there? Since when did the classy and oh-so talented Alba become friends with a reality TV sex tape siren? Isn’t that kinda beneath her? Kim of course spoke to E! about the shower, and revealed that she gave Alba gifts from her store, Smooch, and labeled the whole affair “awesome.” You better believe it was awesome - awesome that she got invited! Being down with legit Hollywood actresses is like every wannabes dream. Even Paris can’t accomplish that! Nice work Kim - we’ll see you at the Oscars.  [E! Online]

The Academy Awards red carpet was a star-studded affair last night. Actresses like Anne Hathaway, Marion Cotillard and Heidi Klum turned up the heat. Others . . . eh, not so much. We weren’t the biggest fans of Jessica Alba’s outfit, but then we’re not her stylist. Who do you think looked their best?

Jessica Alba graced the cover of Elle Magazine this month, and she’s got quite a bit to say about her fame and how she’s perceived — in short, she doesn’t use her body to further her career. While we appreciate the former Maxim cover girl’s views, we only wish they were true. Check out what she had to say below, along with some of her…uh, work.

Read the rest of this entry »

Angelina Thinks We’re Obsessed with her Bod
Angie’s mad we got all freaked out by her skin and bones look this year. Just stop looking too thin and we’ll stop caring. [Us]

Is Jamie-Lynn Having a Shotgun Wedding?
Family members weigh in (oh, how the spotlight feels good!) on whether or not Jamie-Lynn Spears will wed her 18-year old sweetheart/baby-daddy. [People]

Jessica Alba Won’t Wear White While Pregnant
Just another knocked up Hollywood starlet who won’t walk down the aisle with a baby belly. [Us]

R. Kelly: Late for Court
The singer avoided arrest on child porn charges by showing up to court, but claimed the police made him late. Er, or he was too busy chatting up some kids outside the court house. [Bossip]

Ashley Tisdale Nose Backlash
The High School Musical star is getting a lot of hate thrown her way about her new, face-changing nose. Remember Jennifer Grey? Exactly. [TMZ]

Jessica Alba: Still Hot, Now Pregnant!
Congrats to the couple - especially her beau Cash Warren, who will now be forever covered by his cash cow of a baby-mama. [People]

Madonna Freaks Out in Yoga Class
Madge apparently kicked out an entire yoga class at her gym so she could practice by herself. Surely Kaballah doesn’t preach being an asshole, right? [NYP]

Amy Winehouse Can’t See Hubby, Cries
The singer missed visiting hours at her hubby’s jailed and spazzed. Um, set an alarm next time? [Us]

Fur Lovin’ Olsens Twins Trashed by PETA
The animal rights group is ragging on the gajillionaire sisters for wearing lots n’ lots of animal products. [Us]

Gwyneth and Chris – Still Together, Still Boring
The Paltrow-Martins were spotted lunching together and chatting. Couldn’t they be plotting their divorce? [NYDN]

Movie premieres, awards shows, benefit concerts, and plain old clubbin’ – even though most of us are at home, the beautiful peeps are living it up somewhere. About Last Night puts you in touch with all the action.

Megan Fox, Paris Hilton, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Rosario Dawson, and the Heroes cast were among the many celebrities at Spike TV’s “Scream 2007.”

Kim Kardashian rang in her birthday at Les Deux in Hollywood with her family and friends Brittny Gastineau and Aubrey O’Day (of Making the Band).

Reese Witherspoon, Jake Gyllenhaal, Cate Blanchett, Jonathan Rhys Meyers (channeling Tom Cruise), and Monica Belucci were spotted arriving to various premieres at the 2nd Rome Film Festival.

- Madonna’s hands are so veiny, I think she’s part woman, part spaghetti. [CityRag]

- Mathematicians put a number on the attractiveness of Jessica Alba’s ass. And that ass is so bountiful that the number stayed there. [Best Week Ever]

- Tom Cruise reportedly sent his children who aren’t Suri to Scientology camp for the summer. You say Scientology camp, I say Mars. [Dlisted]

- Calum Best continues his vigil for the return of Lindsay Lohan in the only manner he knows how: douchily. [Popbytes]

- Amy Winehouse lounges in the Caribbean with one leg in the air. She’s such a driven artist, this is her way of competing with the sea breeze. [Crunk & Disorderly]

[Image: Getty]

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Pics: Christina Shows Off Baby Bump
She has yet to make an official statement but she doesn’t really need to, what with outfits like this. Xtina’s knocked up, yall! [IDLYITW]

Paris Spends Big Bucks on New Pad
The heiress has upgraded to a new $6.25 million pad in a gated corner of Beverly Hills. The manse comes with a gym and a wine closet, a clear upgrade from the stripper pole and monkey cage. [Us Weekly]

Jessica Alba Cuddling With Her Ex?
The starlet was spotted on a romantic beach stroll with ex-boyfriend Cash Warren. Apparently she likes to make thousands of grown men cry. [WWTDD]

Bridget Moynahan Gives Birth
Tom Brady’s ex gave birth to their son yesterday, and promptly named the kid ‘I Hate Giselle Bundchen’. [Ny Post]

Cameron and John Get Close in NYC
The couple take things slow but get closer at romantic spots around the city. It’s the summer of canoodling in the Big Apple. [Us Weekly]

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