Our partner Moonit is running VH1 celebs through their Top Secret Astrological Love Algorithm. Plug in your birthday to find out how compatible you are with stars in our universe — from Dr. Drew to Megan Hauserman to Bret Michaels to Flavor Flav.
As you may know, VH1 Divas Salute The Troops taped last night and airs Sunday, Dec. 5, at 9/8c. But the celebs host Kathy Griffin takes aim at in the show are probably hoping it never airs at all. Kathy, who fearlessly entertained the troops in a camouflage bikini, took jabs at Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, Tony Parker, Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen and more.
But she saved the most brutal — and hilarious — comment of the night for Bristol Palin. Noting that Bristol was the only Dancing With the Star contestant in the history of the show to actually gain weight, she quipped: “She’s like the white Precious.” Judging by how many times this was retweeted on TheFABlife’s Twitter, we’re pretty sure people will be talking about White Precious long after VH1 Divas airs tomorrow night. Hey, anyone interested in getting a Twitter trend going with #WhitePrecious?
Also, get ready for the reaction from the marines when The Situation and Snooki take the stage. It’s out of control. The Sitch gave the troops some very excellent advice: “Stay grenade free.”
Runner-up for Most Brutal Kathy Griffin Jab at VH1 Divas: Jessica Simpson couldn’t make it to the show because she “couldn’t fit in the hangar.” [Photo: Getty Images]
Jen Aniston should know that snooping through your boyfriend’s sh*t is always going to lead to discovering something you don’t want to see – naked pics, a dream journal – so why is she digging around John Mayer‘s guitar case? Jen supposedly came upon a bunch of love letters written to the rocker from ex-flame Jessica Simpson, and she was reportedly “hurt.” Yeah, our eyes would hurt to having to look her chicken scratch. A source – probably Papa Joe Simpson – said the letters were “very touching and well written,” forgetting to add “for an idiot.” [NYP]
Hurray! The greatest celebrity feud has just begun. Animal-lover Pam Anderson labeled Jessica Simpson a “bitch and whore” in an interview, after the singer was spotted wearing a t-shirt that read “Real Girls Eat Meat.” Yup, it’s pot and kettle time! She went on to say, “Actually, I don’t know if she was talking about food or men.” Dissed!
Pam Anderson is a vegetarian, among other things, but still we’ve gotta call bullsh*t on her for a couple of reasons.
1. She may not eat meat, but she wears it. While she renounced Uggs in 2007, she stuck her feet deep into those sheepskin boots for years. And seriously, if you can’t figure out those are made of animal fur and skin, then should you really be talking?
2. Google “Pam Anderson sex tape” and you get 1,750,000 results. So really, Pam, who you callin’ a whore?
[The Sun]
Ashlee‘s big sis has dropped her first single off her brand spankin’ new country album, and boy does it suck ya’ll! At least our little divorcee has learned a valuable less – if at first you don’t succeed, just try a different musical genre. But never fear, dear Jessica Simpson fans! If the song and subsequent country album both flop, she’ll have Tony Romo’s beefy arms to run into. The football star has taken his lady back under one condition – her dad stays out of the picture and stops messing with their relationship. Sadly, her career is another story.
Give Jessica’s new single – titled “Come On Over” – a listen and tell us what you think. Good, bad or ugly?
When hitting the beach, tanning bed, or mist-n-tan booth to get ready for summer, we’d like to warn our readers that less is more. Only the peel of produce should be permitted to reach the tint of tangerine seen above. If you’re not convinced that au natural is the way to go, take a look at the frequently over-tanned celebrities after the jump.
If you’re bothered by the idea of a girl being nothing more than a notch on a guy’s bedpost, then read no further. Still reading? Hmmm. You may be interested to know that Sports Illustrated has calculated that Yankees star Derek Jeter and rocker John Mayer have dated 11 of the girls on Maxim‘s 2008 Hot 100 List:
We couldn’t help but wonder who has the better resume: Jeter or John Mayer? Jeter comes to the table with Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel, Mariah Carey, Gabrielle Union, Jessica Alba and Vanessa Minillo. Mayer counters with Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly and Cameron Diaz. We hate to admit it, but we’d have to say, advantage Mayer.
Without even broaching the subject of objectification, Sports Illustrated is so wrong. First, is there any combination of hotties in this world that tops Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba? Also, the magazine has its facts wrong: Jennifer Anison is not included in this year’s list. So who has the “advantage” now? Check photos of both manwhores’ girlfriends conquests and see where Maxim ranks them by reading the full list after the jump.
Jeter’s Harem:
See more photos of Mariah Carey, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, Gabrielle Union, Jessica Alba and Vanessa Minillo at Maxim.com.
Mayer’s Harem:
Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly and Cameron Diaz at Maxim.com.
Ugh. Maybe this is why Carrie Underwood wanted nothing to do with Tony Romo. The football star was reportedly busy mocking Jessica Simpson‘s bedroom skills to all his friends on the same weekend that he was telling everyone the Texas twosome was dunzo. A Windy City spy reported exclusively to The Superficial that, “Tony Romo was in town, and he was bar hopping with some buddies of his from Chicago. He had the nerve to put Jessica on speakerphone and talk about their sex life with all his guys listening and laughing at her. Not only is this girl dumb, but she is completely self conscious about her bedroom skills. After a few too many drinks, he told everyone he and Jessica are over.”
Gross gross gross. Is respecting women that hard for guys these days? As crazy as Tom Cruise is, at least he’s pretty good at treating his wife right (when not dragging her around by the arm).
Congrats are in order to Jessica Simpson! Her movie, Blonde Ambition, which was a total bomb in the US, is the number one movie in the Ukraine this week! The budget flick (which also stars Luke Wilson in the biggest career mistake of his life) opened only in texas theaters and grossed just $1,771 it’s debut weekend. But clearly we Americans don’t know a good film when we see one. Over in the Ukraine, the movie managed to rake in a whopping $253,008 last weekend. Now keep in mind Spider-Man 3 raked in $151,116,516 it’s opening weekend, but whose counting?! What could possibly explain the popularity of this admittedly crappy flick? An expert throws down some knowledge: “The former Soviet nations have a sweet tooth for straight-up comedies,” Conor Bresnan, editor in chief of Box Office Mojo International, reveals.”When these comedies have big name celebrities like Jessica Simpson’s, that’s all that’s needed to sell the movie. Russian and Ukrainian audiences have an even bigger urge for escapism than Americans.”
Jessica Simpson – and her papa – thank you, people of the Ukraine. Now she can afford that Louis Vuitton carrying case for her dog. [People]
Tony Romo Woos Jessica with a Song
She may not suck at football, but at least they can both suck at singing together. Now that’s what we call soulmates. [Us]
J. Lo’s Babies Get Normal-ish Names
Emme and Max Lopez-Anthony, meet your new family, the paparazzi! [Star]
Gwen’s Baby Belly Back in Business
Gav and Gwen are adding to their clan. If it’s a girl, do you think they’ll call her Queenston? [Star]
Britney Numbs Pain with New Car
There’s no problem a $55,000 Mercedes (paid for in cash, obvs) can’t fix. Bi-polar disorder be damned! [TMZ]
Lindsay Lohan Loyal to Vodka
LL stands for Lindsay Lohan and Leggings n’ Liquor. [NYDN]
