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Merry Nicole Richie DUI Trial Eve!

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The skinniest pregnant lady in the world goes to trial for her DUI charge tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM on the dot. This comes after Nicole’s lawyer begged the court today to push the start date back to August 5th so some fancy drug expert could be present. But this judge is thankfully as awesome as the one who sent Paris to the clink, and the request was a no-go. TMZ reports that Nicole and her belly flew to Canada last night to be with boyfriend Joel Madden, who is on tour with his band Good Charlotte. Let’s hope she has some frequent flyer miles to kill, as she’s got less than 24 hours to get back to the States. She should also rub that belly of hers for luck – if she’s convicted of her second DUI she must serve a minimum of five days behind bars. And now – let the Nicole Richie Trial Watch officially begin!

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Lionel Richie’s Crazy Parenting Tips

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Crooner Lionel Richie commented
on daughter Nicole’s recent run-in with the law, and his response seems a little unorthodox for a parent, though perhaps not for someone who makes music videos featuring a blind woman who sculpts heads from clay. Lionel said this weekend:

"She’s just in an unfortunate situation. She keeps apologizing to me.I told her, ‘You’re
doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing to your father at this
age.’"

Hm. So if driving the wrong way down the freeway high on Vicodin and marijuana is what you do to your dad while in your twenties, what’s next – smoking heroin while operating heavy machinery? And hasn’t Nicole- who admits to once being addicted to smack – probably done that already?

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Boy Battle: Joel Madden vs. Spencer Pratt

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Life in Hollywood just seems to be all drama, drama, drama. With a little bit of drama sprinkled on top. And a side of drama. Take the latest feud to come out of La La Land, between Spencer Pratt, the uber-cocky "fiance" of Hills star Heidi Montag and Joel Madden, Good Charlotte rocker, human canvas, and Nicole Richie‘s baby daddy. A battle broke out when the two couples ran into each other while lunching at The Beverly Hills Hotel on Saturday. Spencer tells In Touch Weekly: "I was sitting having a quiet lunch with Heidi when Nicole walked in and started pointing at me and then whispering to
Joel. He storms over and starts shouting, ‘You’ve been talking s**t
about my girl’…Then he started screaming and calling
me names."

The mag also reports that Nic and Joel were then escorted out of the joint. Pratt seems to think that Madden freaked because he once called Nicole – who also happens to be his pal Brody Jenner’s ex – a "skinny bitch" in an interview (In case you were keeping track: Brody dated Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari, then Nicole, followed by Cavallari’s rival and Heidi’s co-star, Lauren Conrad. His latest conquest is rumored to be none other than Joel’s ex Hilary Duff. Nauseaus yet?). Here’s a better guess – maybe Joel is a big fan of The Hills and wasn’t to keen on all the flirting Spencer was out doing behind Heidi’s back. Canoodle with Playboy models and Joel Madden’s gonna give you a smackdown!

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Nicole: Knocked Up, Engaged and Alone

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Us Weekly
has put Nicole Richie on their latest cover, announcing "Yes, She’s Pregnant!" Until we hear it from her hungry lips, we can’t totally believe this rumor is fact. But the mag isn’t alone in its assertions. A spy spotted the bony lady and boyfriend Joel Madden browsing wedding gowns at an LA boutique. E Online also reports that they hit up luxe baby shop Petit Trésor to buy a white blanket. Because if she’s 12 weeks pregnant, her baby will need a blankie in 5 months. Planning that far ahead makes complete sense!

The Simple Life star is also reportedly afraid of going through her pregnancy alone, which is set to happen when her rocker beau (or should we say "future husband?") heads out on the road next for publicity interviews and an August tour with Justin Timberlake. A source tells 24/Sizzler, "She’s really dreading the time away from him, but she’s hoping to get
some sympathy by being portrayed as the ‘pregnant victim,’ while her
man is away. The whole thing is classic Nicole." Or classically crazy! Anything to get the public to like you after driving the wrong way down the freeway high on prescription drugs.

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Nicole: Bun in the Oven is For Real?

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Both TMZ and In Touch Weekly are reporting that Nicole Richie is indeed knocked up, preggers, with child – whatever you want to call it. She still looks like she’s eating for none, but hopefully that’ll change soon, as she’s rumored to be three months along. She’s also apparently going to marry her rocker boyfriend/possible baby daddy Joel Madden sometime this summer. Richie may want to hurry it up, cuz that July 11 court date’s not getting any farther away.  Maybe they can kill two birds with one stone and tie the knot at the courthouse before her hearing.

If Nicole really is pregs, she’ll probably officially announce it on July 4th, when all us gossip fiends are off barbecuing and setting off fireworks. Remember Jessica and Nick’s Thanksgiving divorce announcement a couple of years ago? Celebs have a way of using the holidays to their advantage. [TMZ/In Touch Weekly]

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Blog Best-Of: Mariah’s Mirror

Mariah_links- Mariah Carey checks herself out by looking into a mirror onstage. She’s so vain that she should change her name from “Mimi” to “Me! Me!” [Yeeeah!]

- Nicole Richie carries a pillow in front of her at an airport. She’s either hiding her baby bump or showing us a simple way that she can disappear. Either way: magical. [Dlisted]

- A newly hunky Adam Sandler is shot outside of his Beverley Hills pad wearing boxers and nothing else. This is guerrilla marketing for I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Today’s target audience: boys who like beefcake. [TMZ.com]

- Lindsay Lohan gets an iPhone. But wouldn’t a Razr have been more useful to her (and her nose)? [Best Week Ever]

- Lauryn Hill talks about her extended break the music scene. And talks. And talks. Apparently, absence makes the windedness grow longer. [CONCRETELOOP]

[Image credit: Getty]

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The Future Bad Girls of Hollywood

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Hollywood sure is quiet these days. LiLo is attending group therapy, Paris has fled to Hawaii and Nicole is browsing for bridal wear. Who’s left in Hollywood to take their place at the top of the Bad Girl
totem pole? We’ve put together some pics of the potential contenders to take their spots. Sure, some are still young and well behaved now, but as we’ve seen before that means nothing in showbiz. Remember, it was only nine years ago that an 11-year old Lindsay was charming us all in The Parent Trap, and now she’s busy detoxing on the Malibu coast.

Let’s hope for better luck for these Future Bad Girls!

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Browse Pics of the Future Bad Girls of Hollywood

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Friday: Paris Gets Lei’d; Nicole Needs a Wedding Dress

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Paris Says Aloha To Hawaii
Dressed in a strange black wig, floppy straw hat and a billowy white dress, Paris bolts off the mainland for some much need R&R. [TMZ]

K-Fed Won’t Sign Divorce Papers
Kevin is holding off on signing divorce papers because he’s wary of Britney’s recent odd behavior and post-rehab boozing. Who’d have thought he’d be the responsible one?

Oprah to Open Chicago Store
It’s the one thing Oprah has yet to conquer, but now the richest woman in the world is taking a stab at retail, opening up shop near her studio in Chicago to sell Oprah iPod covers and beach totes, as well as African baskets and art.

Read more…

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Nicole: Not Your Average Crackhead

Nicole2 Nicole Richie tells all in a revealing interview in the upcoming issue of Nylon, and she doesn’t hold anything back. She opens right up about that nasty heroin habit that landed her in rehab at the start of The Simple Life‘s first season. "When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crackhead with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes." Funny how she sure is barefoot a lot these days. And all skinny, like a crackhead. No connection, I’m sure.

The starlet also gets pretty defensive about that bone-thin reputation, saying, "I’ve never gone a day without putting food in my mouth. I’ve never sewn my mouth shut. I’ve never gone on a liquid diet. So I want to know why I’m the face for a problem."

Gum doesn’t count as food, Nicole! And only drinking vodka tonics is a liquid diet. Also – who the eff has sewn their mouth shut, besides a puppet? Now you’re just talkin’ crazy. Like…A crackhead?

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The Weekly Wrap-Up: Lindsay’s Party, Clay’s Broadway Show, Paris’ New Life

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