In honor of the Sex and the City movie opening this weekend and the awful frocks its stars have worn in episodes of the hit HBO show, we’ve gathered the best of the worst fashion flops to ruin Hollywood this year. Not everyone can star in the greatest chick flick of our time, but you sure can dress like you’re straight out of the movie!

From the left: Sarah Jessica Parker and pals (Coco, Heidi Montag, Paris Hilton, Katie Holmes, Tyra Banks, Rumer Willis, Jenna Jameson, Anna Wintour) model their poor picks in crap couture.

When hitting the beach, tanning bed, or mist-n-tan booth to get ready for summer, we’d like to warn our readers that less is more. Only the peel of produce should be permitted to reach the tint of tangerine seen above. If you’re not convinced that au natural is the way to go, take a look at the frequently over-tanned celebrities after the jump.

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Oh, Sarah Jessica Parker, what have you done? Paris Hilton has us fearing that the centerpiece-as-a-hat look may be a hot trend this summer. The goofy hat accessorized her all-white ensemble as she promoted her new scent, “Can Can,” at Selfridge’s in London.

Check out more photos of the atrocity below…

I was just sitting here minding my business, when I noticed this little tidbit coming across the web about Paris Hilton and her twin boy toy Benji Madden. The Good Charlotte guitarist has written his lover of two months her own song, titled, “Shine Your Light.” Paris says, “It’s this really beautiful love song about me. It was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me….He’s my best friend.”

BEST FRIEND? I thought that was the position I’d be competing for on her reality show! W.T.F. Just to show my devotion to the heiress, I’ve written her an even better song. It’s called “Dump Your Boyfriend and Let’s Hang and Do Shots.” Here’s a sample lyric:

Seriously Paris, forget that dude
He’ll never appreciate your attitude
Let’s share clothes, here’s my dress from 1993
aren’t you glad you’re BFF with me!

Check out my blog and vote for me to be Paris Hilton’s best friend!

Why is it that rich people can’t afford to pay someone to give them good ideas? Paris and Nicole are allegedly plotting to marry their twin boyfriends in a ceremony together, followed by a honeymoon in a pile of cash earned from the publicity wedding stunt. A source says, “Paris is doing it all for attention, as usual. It’s a publicity stunt, just like everything else.”

Let’s see, just like her other two(three?) engagements, her lost dog, her sex tape, her album, her perfumes, her various reality shows, her hair extensions, her jewelry line, her nightclubs, her book, her feud with Nicole/Lindsay/Britney, and her stint in jail? Yep, sounds like Paris! But haters beware - she’s been spotted wearing some sort of ring on her finger! Maybe it’s a purity ring! Paris Hilton taking a vow of chastity? Now THAT would be a publicity stunt. [DListed]

Paris, my future best friend forever, is allegedly doing a show on British television where she runs a dog grooming business. Paris’s Pooches will follow the negligent pet owner princess around London as she tries to manage the hectic life of a dog groomer with her partying. Says an insider, “Watching Paris act out her Los Angeles lifestyle, in which tiaras for Chihuahuas are of real importance, should be very entertaining. And she will no doubt be hitting the clubs and parties over here in the same way she does back home.”

Anything that could potentially humiliate Paris Hilton on television is gold, but I’m a bit nervous about what this means for her future BFFs. Will we be replaced with tiny dogs? Must I turn myself into a dog in order to become her closest confidante? Get into P’s inner circle is gonna be a lot harder than I thought. If only I had a tail. [DListed]

Remember when Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian were BFF? Well not anymore! Though the two have remained mum on their pal-split thus far, Paris did reveal her feelings about Kim’s notorious ass on a Vegas radio show, when asked if she’d rather have Jessica Simpson’s rack or Kim’s butt. “It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag,” she snipped.

Yep, spoken like a true former friend. After the cruel (but kind of hilarious) insult leaked onto the web, the heiress freaked and called Kim to apologize. “I was just joking around and I made a stupid joke,” Paris told In Touch. “I felt really bad afterward, so I contacted Kim and apologized. It was a silly thing to say. Kim’s hot!”

We’d love to see what kind of nasty shizz Paris dishes when she’s not joking. Hopefully I can become her BFF and find out! Vote for me and help me win a chance to be Paris Hilton’s best friend. Please!? I’ll diss your butt if you don’t.

Friends,

Paris Hilton is on the prowl for a new best friend, and our peeps over at MTV are helping her mission out with a new reality show that weens out the pals who can hang from the hanger-ons. And this here blogger wants in! I am a lover of all things Paris and am willing to fight a stable of other fabulous wannabes to be at her side (platonically, natch). Paris and I both have size 11 feet and love animals to a fault. What more is there to know? We’re meant to be BFFS!

You can vote for me at the ParisBFF casting site and visit my website, ParisandKateForever.com, for continuous coverage of my quest. And if for some ghastly reason I do not make it on the show as a contestant, I will be bitterly recapping the episodes here on The VH1 Blog each week. But she better watch her back! If she leaves me out of her new clique, there will be hell to pay! I may be an excellent friend, but I’m an even better frenemy.

Vote for me!

Love & kisses & lost chihuahuas,

Kate

It’s like the democratic primary in Hollywood, but drunk on fancy vodka! Lindsay and Paris’s beef with each other escalated recently, after LiLo stepped into take over hosting duties from BritBrit at an event at the Scandinavian Style Mansion (we’re still not really clear on what this place is). Linds was all chill until she realized that the goods she was hawking at the party included handbags made by her frenemy Paris Hilton. Uh oh! She got pissed and bolted, and guess who stepped in to take over the twice-abandoned hosting gig? None other than Ms. Paris herself. The dude who organized the event had this to say about the feuding females, “I’m grossly disappointed in Lindsay for not fulfilling her contractual duties. But Paris truly saved the night. She was very gracious to everyone - and was the life of the party.”

Last month the girls battled over Timbaland’s affections, this month’s it’s Sweden. Who knows what April will bring!

Paris, Paris, Paris. We ALL know you’re dating Good Charlotte rocker Benji Madden. We’re well aware that he is the identical twin brother of Nicole Richie’s BF and baby-daddy, Joel Madden. And yes, the whole world knows that this is quite possibly the creepiest love-quad ever, and that if you all marry each other the earth will likely implode. So do you really need to rock a massive ring decorated with your man’s initials spelled out in hundreds of tiny diamonds? I mean, really. Subtlety is a nice touch. You should try it some time.

[All images: Getty]

Now that we’ve found out that Ms. Hilton’s path to spiritual enlightenment was guided by a Pirates of the Caribbean actor with a MySpace page that contains the philosophical quote “Burbank Can Kiss My Ass,” the Parisian one needs another swami. It doesn’t take long to fulfill the items on your wish list in L.A., so after the jump you’ll find the party girl’s new go-to guy when it comes to matters of the soul. Hint: He’s previously done battle with Dr. Evil.

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