After months worth of hype and countless reports of behind-the-scenes drama, Fox finally debuted the American version of the hit international show The X Factor last night. Despite endless amounts of promotion of the debut, which featured the much anticipated reunion of Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul, the show started off modestly in the ratings. 12.1 million viewers tuned in last night, which is a far cry from American Idol‘s 2011 premiere numbers (21.6MM viewers). Simon has stated all along that his primary goal for the show is for it to beat American Idol and, well, it just might end up doing that over time. It certainly worked very hard last night to differentiate itself from the 800 lb. gorilla of the reality singing competition genre. Here are the Five Ways That Make X-Factor Better Than American Idol:

1) Simon Vs. L.A. Reid Is The New Simon Vs. Paula
With its original, three-person panel of judges, American Idol got a lot of mileage from—and won themselves a lot of fans by—focusing on the tense relationship between Simon and Paula. Like many great television couples of the past, the two bickered constantly, but over time, their relationship evolved from an antagonistic one into a more of a brother/sister dynamic. However, now that Simon has got a true titan of the music industry like L.A. Reid sitting opposite him at the judge’s table, there are bound to be some testosterone-laden, mano y mano flareups. Last night’s ep featured one such moment, where the two went toe-to-toe over a young black woman named Simone Battle who had the body of a Pussycat Doll and, well, the voice of a Pussycat Doll (which is to say, not much of a voice at all). Simon thought she had the talent (meaning: body) to become a “star,” while L.A. Reid—who famously told P!nk, “You’ll be a pop star, All you have to change is everything you are”—didn’t think she had the pipes to move along in the competition. Simon came out on top of that battle, but who will win the war?

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Early on during last night’s MLB All-Star Game on Fox, the network took advantage of the number of eyeballs watching the game to debut their very first promo spot for The X-Factor, their new singing competition debuting this fall. And if there were any doubts before last night as to how Simon Cowell’s new show would attempt to differentiate itself from the newly nice —some would say toothless— American Idol and NBC’s ultra-positive show The Voice, they were eradicated approximately one-minute and seventeen seconds into this two-and-a-half minute long promo.

The promo begins in a hazy, fog-like state, with The X Factor judges Cowell, Paula Abdul (who, btw, is Botoxed to the gills), L.A. Reid and Nicole Scherzinger presiding over a parade of terrible singers. If things don’t seem quite right, it’s because they aren’t: No, the X-Factor contestants aren’t going to be horrible, and no, Simon Cowell hasn’t traded in his trademark skintight crewneck tees for a cabled pink sweater because this is all a nightmare! By now, the spot intimates that we should know that Cowell would NEVER be seen driving a wussy, electric Chevy Volt (Side note: weirdest product placement in a long time, right?); rather, he’s the kind of guy who rolls around downtown L.A. with X-FACTOR vanity plates on his $1.5 million Bugatti Veyron EB. And while he’s working, he’s not here to make friends; instead, he’s here to roll his eyes condescendingly at Paula Abdul! In short, he’s still the same A-hole S.O.B. he’s always been (which is something that Cheryl Cole would certainly confirm).

And that, Fox is betting, will be enough to get people to tune-in when The X-Factor debuts on Wednesday, September 21. Will they be right? Well, we’ll have to see now, won’t we?

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Well, that certainly was anti-climactic, wasn’t it? After Matt Drudge reported yesterday afternoon that Scotty McCreery annihilated Lauren Alaina in the popular vote by a nearly 2:1 margin and was going to be named this year’s American Idol, last night’s broadcast finale felt less like a victory lap and more like a really drawn out lead-up to a foregone conclusion. When Ryan Seacrest announced that the 17 year-old country singer from rural North Carolina had beaten the 16 year-old country singer from rural Georgia, both contestants momentarily winced, then looked at each other with the same kind of expression that you see on people who know that a surprise party is being thrown for them before they even walk in the door. Confetti shot in the air, J. Lo pranced around in a catsuit, and Scotty McCreery got kissed by more women on stage than he’s probably kissed in real life.

However, as former Idol champs like Taylor Hicks, Lee DeWyze, and Kris Allen will attest, winning American Idol is the easy part. Staying afloat in today’s highly competitive music industry is another story entirely, and it remains to be seen whether Scotty will be wholeheartedly embraced by the Nashville elite. While Idol has launched Carrie Underwood and Kellie Pickler into country stardom, it should be noted that during its ten season run, Idol has never produced a highly successful male country singer (unless you count Josh Gracin, which, sorry, we really don’t).

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Prince Charles photobombs Cheryl Cole's red carpet photo

Nikki Finke at Deadline Hollywood is reporting that former American Idol mainstay Simon Cowell has chosen his fellow judges for the United States launch of the British musical competition The X Factor: Paula Abdul, music exec L.A. Reid and Cheryl Cole.

So, you’re probably asking yourself, just who the heck is Cheryl Cole, anyway?

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Paris071607 Brangelina Brood Leaves Prague
Bony Saint Angelina, Papa Pitt, and their tiny crew of kids boarded a private jet out of Prague this weekend. Are they headed home to New Orleans or could they be off to adopt another tot? [Just Jared]

Paris: G-Rated Sleepover with Pals
Paris invited friends to a weekend sleepover at her fave Beverly Hills Hotel bungalow where the group chowed on grilled cheese sandwiches and strawberry shakes and watch old movies. [NY Post]

Simon Blasts Kelly Clarkson
Idol judge Simon Cowell went after Kelly Clarkson, following her attack on aging label head Clive Davis. Does the embattled pop star have any friends left in the business? [TMZ]

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Olsens
Ryan Rips Simon on Idol Ratings
Seacrest blames the cocky British judge for American Idol‘s recent ratings drop. We point the finger at Sanjaya. [MSNBC]

NBC: Desperate for Rosie Rebound
Network execs are scrambling to bring the uber-popular View host to their small screen. [Fox News]

Olsens P*ss Off Fashion World
Mary Kate and Ashley’s new upscale fashion line has designers worrying about a loss of customers. If it’s anything like J. Lo’s line, Madison Ave has nothing to fear.  [NY Times]

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Sanj2Only makes it stronger. The newly ex-American Idol contestant speculated about his future in the media — always a wise idea, kids — saying that he’d like to act, model and sing. He also said that given the violent reactions viewers had to his singing and hairstyles, he was considering hiring a bodyguard. The latest to weigh in? Idol winner Kelly Clarkson, who gave MTV this soundbite: "One of my friends [wanted] the Sanjaya guy to win. Oh, man, he’s crazy. I think [it would have been] funny, but I like Jordin Sparks. She’s passionate and still not jaded." That proves Clarkson’s a kinder person than Simon Cowell, who had this to say: "I miss [Sanjaya], probably in the same way as I would miss my favorite horror movie." Do you miss Sanjaya in the same way you would miss your favorite horror movie?

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March 16, 2007

Simon vs Springsteen

Simon4 The man who has brought pop music Justin Guarini and Clay Aiken is measuring his worth in a new way: by comparing himself to Bruce Springsteen. It seems Simon Cowell has told 60 Minutes that he’s a bigger than the Boss.

I mean, in the last five years, I’ve probably sold over 100 million records. If (Springsteen) got one hundred (million dollars), I should have got five hundred (million dollars)," he says.

Maybe the question should be: who will be spinning discs by Fantasia and Ruben in 10 years? And maybe the answer will be: the null set. Hope those zealous Jersey fans don’t hear about this or Cowell will be toast.

In other Simon/60 news, the Idol star says a man once approached him to have his coitus critiqued. The offered payment was 100K, but the judge wasn’t up for the job.

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Despite their bizarre and occasionally hostile on-screen banter, Paula Abdul says she and her fellow American Idol judge Simon Cowell share a "fun relationship." "He’s actually become a good friend," says Paula. But not that good. Paula says that even though they sometimes flirt together on the show, the thought of hooking up with him is "disgusting" and that she wants him "like a cold sore." "We have fun playing up the chemistry, but there’s also times when I would cross the other side of the street so I wouldn’t have to look at him." Sounds like a great friend! Also, could the "chemistry" she’s referring to be Valtrex? [AP/Yahoo!]

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