John Mayer is on the road to making our dream couple come true, after allegedly macking on Ricki Lake at a party in NYC last night. Oh, how that poor chick from Friday Night Lights must be sobbing right now! Apparently they talked about Lake’s new passion project, The Business of Being Born, and John gushed, “I’ve had a crush on you for two years.” Make it happen John! Of course his crush just so happened to begin once Ricki got all skinny, but what do you expect from the dude who broke Jessica Simpson’s heart? The couple reportedly exchanged numbers, and John stalked Ricki via text message for the rest of the night. We love that John Mayer prowls NYC for all the celebrity play he can get. He’s a cat who likes cougars. Go Ricki! Go Ricki! Go Ricki! [NYP]

John Mayer has discovered what the rest of the world has known for years: he is a douchebag. John recently took to the Internet to bone up on himself (a douchey thing to do in itself) and the results were of profound self-discovery: “I’m kind of a douchebag. I got a little sick of myself…I’m insufferable,” he reports.

Of course, admitting that you’re a douchebag is a wholly non-douchey thing to do: self-awareness and douchebaggery cannot exist side-by-side. And so, by admitting this, John Mayer is more or less no longer a douchebag. Curses! Foiled again. [TMZ.com]

Following in the esteemed tradition of the Motley Cruise and Sammy Hagar’s Cabo Wabo Cruise, John Mayer is offering you a chance to stowaway on his Mayercraft — and no, that’s not dirty talk. Escape from the Winter blahs with a February trip to the Bahamas; enter to win a dose of soft rock on the high seas at VH1’s Mayercraft site. And remember, John Boy’s going to have help. Colbie Caillat and Brandi Carlile among the other artists getting their cruise on.

Mayer stopped by to film a few promos for the sweepstakes, but we kept the cameras rolling and let the part-time stand-up comic riff a little bit. Check out the clip, which we consider to be the world’s most bizarre literacy campaign.

John Mayer has a new woman, Minka Kelly, who thankfully seems to be the exact opposite of his former obnoxious flame Jessica Simpson. She’s a casually dressed brunette and an actress (no, Jessica’s crappy movies do not count as acting) on our fave football drama “Friday Night Lights.” So far, we like. Nice work John! A couple interesting tidbits thanks to Wikipedia: Minka is the daughter of former Aerosmith guitarist Rick Dufay, and once dated actor Donald Faison, whose current gal pal is Jessica Simpson’s ex-assistant CaCee Cobb! The smallness of the world makes us so happy sometimes.

In case you aren’t yet familiar with Ms. Minka, we’ve got the visual goods below. Enjoy!

[All Images: Getty]