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Daddy do-gooder Kevin Federline’s been super busy this year, spending Brit’s cash like it’s his job. Oh wait - that pretty much IS his job these days. According to documents submitted by his lawyers, Fed’s dropped cash on everything from strippers - $2000 for a $365 bill - and nights out at clubs, where he plunked down over $3000. He even spent almost $1500 for clothes at Versace. Who knew they sold couture jean shorts and white socks! Perhaps most hilariously is this number: $74,102 on music production, even though his music career earned him just $9849 in income. We’re dying to know what else Kev has blown his Britney allowance on. Care to guess?
- $1000 for Mini Britney (a midget impersonator) to come perform at Sean and Jayden’s joint birthday bash.
- $12,756 on suits for court (K-Fed wears them once and tosses them, obvs)
- $650 for yearly subscriptions to Us Weekly, People, Star, OK!, In Touch and Oprah Magazine. To keep up with Britney - and his main girl O.
Brit’s still got it, ya’ll! But just as she’s about to comeback with a hot new look and lots of pap attention, she’s allegedly shacking up with K-Fed again to see if they can rekindle their, uh, love. That’s what Star is saying, and they have a source to prove it! “Kevin wants to take Britney away to see if there is anything to salvage between them,” an insider reveals. “When he suggested it to her, she told him she was ready to go anytime he was.”
Britney wait! Before you go down this hellish road all over again, take a second to look at how far you’ve come! You’ve gotten rid of your frapp addiction and we haven’t seen your vag in months! You’re reconnecting with your ex-manager! You wear shoes! You’re a new woman - or at least newer. The last thing weyou need is a little dose of K-Fed to send you skidding down that hill again. Stay straight Brit!
After starring in the real-life version of Criminally Insane Blonde, Kevin Federline is in talks to star in Legally Blonde on Broadway. Based on the 2003 Reese Witherspoon girltravaganza, K-Fed is up for “a trio of roles” according to USWeekly, including the UPS guy who falls in love with protagonist Elle’s manicurist.
This isn’t Federline’s first time in the world of song and dance. Before he was Mr. Britney Spears, Federline was a back-up dancer with L.F.O. He also released an ill-fated solo record in 2006 entitled Playing With Fire, which Rolling Stone called a “reprehensible rap debut.”
Jay-Z Pushing for His Own Label
He can’t retire from anything: Jay-Z wants back in the boardroom, and is in talks with Warner Music about starting up his own label called the Carter Music Group. [NYDN]
Is Eva Expecting?
Mrs. Tony Parker was spotted shopping for baby clothes. Our guess - she’s not knocked up but likes the attention. [NYDN] Winehouse Wants the Grammys
She’s visa-less and still kind of in rehab, but the beehived beauty is desperate to get to the States for some Grammy action. [NYDN] K-Fed Bails on Brit for Fashion Show
Britney’s ex tries to get as far away from her as possible by going somewhere he knows she’ll never be - a place of high fashion and taste. [Us]
- Carrie Underwood reveals that the love of her life is a dog. Aquanet, you’ve been replaced! [CityRag]
- Before going on trial, Wesley Snipes met with pastors in a makeshift vigil. Money: it’s something to pray about. [Crunk & Disorderly]
- A gorilla takes a shine to Ellen DeGeneres. I’m afraid to break it to him that he’s not her type. [Best Week Ever]
- Djimon Hounsou says that Kimora Lee is “the least high-maintenance lady I’ve ever dated.” That says more about his experience with ladies than Kimora’s character. [CONCRETELOOP]
- K-Fed’s appearing on One Tree Hill tonight. Make sure to tune in: if not for him, do it for the children! The children! [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
- Per a court artist’s rendering, is K-Fed sporting a faux-hawk or does he have a massive head wound. Or maybe the statement is that a faux-hawk is a massive head wound? [Dlisted]
- Zac Efron shops at Urban Outfitters. Suddenly, he seems so much more human! [Best Week Ever]
- DMX gets fined $1.5 for failing to show up to a court hearing. If only he’d taken a trip to Mexico with his paparazzo boyfriend, things could have turned out a lot differently. [Crunk + Disorderly]
- Lauryn Hill is rumored to be in tremendous debt. See what happens when you take 10 years to get off your ass to make your sophomore album, superstars? [A Hot Mess]
It couldn’t have gone on forever. Not after the bodyguard spilled the beans. So the court has stepped in and removed Britney Spears‘ kids from the singer’s home. As of Wednesday, that bastion of maturity, Kevin Federline, will take care of his own progeny. You recall the history. The judge ordered a parenting coach, and random testing for drugs after finding “habitual, frequent, and continuous use of controlled substances” defining the toxic one’s party-centric lifestyle. So come mid-day Wednesday, K-Fed will have to nurtureSean Preston and his brother himself - if he can stay alive, that is. Check pics of Brit and K-Fed in happier times, plus a few snapshots of Brit’s recent VMA disaster.
Bad News: The latest outlook on the Brit-cast is dark and stormy, ya’ll. A friend of the starlet’s got in a car accident trying to flee K-Fed’s cronies who showed up at his house to serve him with a subpoena. Her former manager, Larry Rudolph, is currently hiding out somewhere to avoid the same fate. His pal Ryan Seacrest said, “He’s actually on the run, if you will…he doesn’t want to say where he is and he doesn’t want to be served because he said it won’t be good for Britney.”
Brit’s also being investigated by the Department of Children and Family Services due to “allegations of poor dental hygiene, as well as poor eating and sleeping habits for her kids.” Apparently it may even be K-Fed who filed the complaint! There are two lessons to be learned here. Don’t marry a tool-ish backup dancer at twenty-three years old. Also, brush your kids teeth.
Someone hide the clipping shears cuz we smell a meltdown about to happen. Apparently Britney is being investigated for - duh duh duhhhhh - possible child abuse. We know she’s not the most perfect mom, but is feeding your kids soda and Cheetos illegal? A custody hearing about the kids was held this morning between Britney and Kevin’s lawyers, as well as a lawyer for the Los Angeles County counsel. TMZ also reports that, “We do not know the specifics of the allegations but we’re told the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services is conducting an active investigation.”
Oh man. No wonder poor Brit wants to haul her ass to London. Though these pics of Britney smoking around her kids sure ain’t helping her win any Mom of the Year Awards. [TMZ. Image: Getty]
John and Cameron Heat Things Up
This new cute couple have been spotted out in NYC being “flirty” and “all over each other.” That “Wonderland” songs gets ‘em every time. [People]
Mary-Kate Spied On By Students
The twin reveals that she dropped out of college because she couldn’t stand her fellow students dishing on her every move. She didn’t leave because she’s dumb - she left for a dumb reason. [A Socialite’s Life]
Jennifer Aniston’s Puppy Love
The Friends star is set to star in the new flick Marley & Me, based on a book about one man’s life with his beloved, misbehaving dog. Kinda like Jen’s life with Brad! [Star]
Pics: Rihanna’s Accidental Nip Slip
Oops! Rihanna flashed the audience recently at a televised performance. We’re sure no one minded. [Egotastic]
K-Fed Finally Gets a Real Job
The former Mr. Spears is set to guest star on the teen drama One Tree Hill. He’ll be subpoenaing the whole cast - just for fun. [TMZ]
Mr. Mom Kevin Federline continued covering Hollywood in legal papers this weekend, serving Promises Treatment Center - Brit’s rehab home in Malibu - with a subpoena. I kinda want to see him serve Britney’s new “man” Criss Angel some legal papers, just to see the magician try to make then disappear. This brings the total K-Fed subpoena count up to four (including assistants Shannon Funk and Alli Sims and bodyguard Daimon Shippen), which gave the guy something to celebrate in Vegas this weekend, where he macked ladies and danced like the toolawesome dad that he is. Meanwhile Brit’s attempting to get back at K-Fed, but apparently her lawyer, Lauren Wasser, wants nothing to do with the pop star and is trying to hand her off to another legal adviser. Anyone else see a trend here? [Image: Getty]
Daddy do-gooder Kevin Federline’s been super busy this year, spending Brit’s cash like it’s his job. Oh wait - that pretty much IS his job these days. According to documents submitted by his lawyers, Fed’s dropped cash on everything from strippers - $2000 for a $365 bill - and nights out at clubs, where he plunked down over $3000. He even spent almost $1500 for clothes at Versace. Who knew they sold couture jean shorts and white socks! Perhaps most hilariously is this number: $74,102 on music production, even though his music career earned him just $9849 in income. We’re dying to know what else Kev has blown his Britney allowance on. Care to guess?
After starring in the real-life version of Criminally Insane Blonde, Kevin Federline is in talks to star in Legally Blonde on Broadway. Based on the 2003 Reese Witherspoon girltravaganza, K-Fed is up for 
Kirsten Dunst: Another rehabbing starlet
- Carrie Underwood reveals that the love of her life is a dog. Aquanet, you’ve been replaced! [
- Per a court artist’s rendering, is K-Fed sporting a faux-hawk or does he have a massive head wound. Or maybe the statement is that a faux-hawk is a massive head wound? [
Good News: 
Someone hide the clipping shears cuz we smell a meltdown about to happen. Apparently Britney is being investigated for - duh duh duhhhhh - possible child abuse. We know she’s not the most perfect mom, but is feeding your kids soda and Cheetos illegal? A custody hearing about the kids was held this morning between Britney and Kevin’s lawyers, as well as a lawyer for the Los Angeles County counsel. TMZ also reports that, “We do not know the specifics of the allegations but we’re told the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services is conducting an active investigation.”
John and Cameron Heat Things Up
Mr. Mom Kevin Federline continued covering Hollywood in legal papers this weekend, 
