Poor Alex Rodriguez. He should have known what he was messing with when he fell in love with Madonna. This is a chick who married Sean Penn when she was like, 12! You don’t fall in love with Madonna. She chews you up and spits you out, and your remains become art. But the Yankee slugger doesn’t give a sh*t, telling his teammate (Please let it be Jason Giambi’s moustache) that he’s in love with the singer and that Madonna is “my (bleeping) soulmate, dude.”

Oh A-Rod, get over yourself. Madonna has a soulmate, and it’s herself.

Hungry for today’s latest on the A-Rod scandal? Here’s the scoop:

• Lenny Kravitz was told by his manager (and Madonna’s) that he was going to “pimp out Madonna and A-Rod.” He disapproved and fired the guy, and then he ended up linked to A-Rod’s wife. Lenny’s pissed, naturally.
• A-Rod boned a lot of chicks while he was married, and a few are enjoying their .000015 seconds of fame.
• Madonna wants Cynthia Rodriguez’s lawyers to stop using her name. Really? How Lucky! Can we also stop talking about the Artist Formerly Known As Attention Whore?

Cynthia Rodriguez has filed for divorce from her superstar husband of six years, Alex Rodriguez. Let the crazy divorce hearings begin! Apparently the Madonna drama was the final straw for Mrs. Rod, and the couple’s trainer has accused A-Rod of getting “pulled in by the dark side,” and accuses the Kaballah-loving singer of having A-Rod “totally brainwashed.”

Cynthia’s divorce petition accused her hubby of being a serious cheater, and alleges “emotional abandonment.” Her lawyer added that A-Rod’s “relationship with Madonna was the latest situation in a series of events” that finally pushed his client to file for divorce. Madge and Lenny Kravitz have both issued statements denying any involvement in this divorce disaster (Madonna also insists that she is not divorcing husband Guy Ritchie).  [NYP/Us]

What.The.F*ck?

In what could possible be the greatest love triangle quadrangle of the year - Yankees star (and Madonna BFF) Alex Rodriquez has been dumped by his wife - for LENNY KRAVITZ. Cynthia Rodriguez has left the couple’s kids in Miami and jetted to Paris, where she is reportedly holed up with the rebel rocker. The strangest part of the story (if there is such a thing with this mess) is that Lenny and Madonna - who’s been linked to A-Rod this week - used to knock boots! The Yankee shortstop - who was linked to a sexy blond stripper last year - scored a home run in last night’s game against the Texas Rangers - do you think his wife did as well?

From the Department of Awkward Meetings: At last night’s Gucci party, Madonna brought along daugther Lourdes. Also in attendance was Lenny Kravitz’s daughter Zoe from his relationship with Lisa Bonet. Just two celebrity progeny attending the same party. Nothing to see here, right? Wrong. Back in 1990, Lenny teamed up with Madonna to write “Justify My Love,” and allegedly, they decided to do a little justifying of their own. Lenny took a break from Bonet for Madge, meaning that Zoe was confronted with the woman who effectively ended her parents’ relationship last night.

Zoe’s not the only person who might have a problem with Madge and Len’s relationship. Just two years ago, Madonna’s husband Guy Ritchie dragged Madonna off the dancefloor when she was seen getting down with Lenny.

Rocker Lenny Kravitz recently offered up a little bit of TMI in an interview with Spin magazine, claiming that he hasn’t not had sex - none - in over three years. He croons, “[It's] just a promise I made until I get married. Where I’m at in life, the women have got to come with something else, not just the body, but the mind and spirit. It usually trips them out, but that’s the way it’s going to be. I’m looking at the big picture.”

So basically, what Lenny wants to know is: are you gonna go his way, ladies? We respect the guy’s renewed celibacy, but we have to be honest. Wouldn’t it be kinda hard for him to find someone new to sleep with if he was looking? His alleged lady roster includes: Lisa Bonet , Adriana Lima, Devon Aoki, Natalie Imbruglia, Vanessa Paradis, Kylie Minogue, Madonna, Penelope Cruz and Nicole Kidman - nevermind the other less famous ladies who have been there and done that. So maybe Lenny’s just taking a break because his lady well has finally run dry. [NYP]