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15-year old Miley Cyrus is finally breaking her silence about that infamous Vanity Fair pic of her wrapped topless in a sheet. You know the one. She had previously said she was “embarassed” by the pics, but now she seems to be seeing the upside of such a scandal.
“I was embarrassed, but also it’s like, every career thing that I do can’t be perfect, and sometimes my decisions are wrong. I think that just makes me even more relatable.”
She is right - everyone can relate to doing stupid sh*t in high school. The difference is we didn’t have a bedroom full of Benjamins to come home to and cry in at night. Stars: they’re still not like us, no matter how many regretful topless photos they take! [MSNBC]
A purple dildo mic, a dad who wants to chaparown his daughter, and the week’s biggest teen billionaire scandal. Finally, we have some footage from the moment when Hannah Montana showed off that radically sensual shoulder of hers.
We are all about autobiographies when the author has something to say - Bill Clinton, Ben Franklin, Rosie O’Donnell - these are important people with true tales that explode off the page. But a 15 year-old Disney Channel star? What the hell has she done that’s print-worthy? Apparently someone thinks her life events will garner Harry Potter-esque attention, and has offered Miley over $1 million to spill her beans on paper. Because her life thus far has presumably been extraordinarily uneventful, the book will mostly talk about how great her relationship is with her mom. ‘”I am so excited to let fans in on how important my relationship with my family is to me,” the Hannah Montana star said in a statement Tuesday. “I hope to motivate mothers and daughters to build lifetimes of memories together and inspire kids around the world to live their dreams.”‘
Interesting, that sounds a lot like another autobiography we once loved about a Disney star and her mom BFF - maybe Miley should ask Britney how life turned out after her book Britney Spears’ Heart to Heart? We’ve decided to go ahead and do the work for Miley, and are pitching the above book and below chapters as a great place to start. So what if she’s done next-to-nothing in her short time on earth - it can still be a juicy read, right?
Miley Cyrus: My G-Rated Life
Chapter 1: I Was Born, Just Like You!
Chapter 2: Thoughts on Red Lobster, My Favorite Restaurant
Chapter 3: How To Take Pics of Yourself for Your MySpace Page That are Skanky But Not Slutty
Chapter 4: Skirts! The Long and Short of my Favorite Garmet
Squeaky clean singer Miley Cyrus talks about having “the best of both worlds” in one of her songs, and it appears she’s taking her own lyrics to heart! The Disney starlet and her reps spend a lot of time emphasizing her good girl image, but the internet is constantly telling us otherwise in the form of candid pics. The latest snapshots to appear in our browser show Miley showing off her neon green bra and cuddling with a young male friend who looks ready to jump her viriginal (maybe?) bones. One instant she’s the queen of the tween world, living the pure life that BritBrit couldn’t handle, and the next instant she’s trying out her boob flashing skills. Seems like the best of both worlds to us! [A Socialite's Life]
They do things different down there Nashville. Guess when Miley Cyrus was growing up in Achy Breaky Land, she got some some bad info regarding the sublime mixture of tomatoes, sugar, and water. Last night on Leno she slurped some ketchup straight from the bottle and told her host it was a member of the food family that includes oranges, apples, and plums. How crazed is Ms. Miley?
HOLD ON, THIS JUST IN: We teased Miley, but she was technically right. To a botanist, ketchup may very well be a fruit. Apologies to Hannah M. We shoulda had a V8. What food do you guys get mixed up?
What, you didn’t know that Miley Cyrus’ (aka Hannah Montana) real name was Destiny Hope Cyrus? Yeah, we didn’t either, but it’s definitely the greatest name we’ve heard this side of Scores. It’s one thing to change your name to a sexy monniker later in life, but to be born with such a trashy name is a true gift. We’re sad to see Miley let Destiny go, especially with all those bikini pics that have leaked on to the internet in recent weeks. She is now legally Miley Ray Cyrus - Miley stems from her childhood nickname of Smiley, and she added the Ray as a tribute to her mullet-loving dad.
Seeing as Destiny Hope Cyrus is now dead (er, as a name), we invite you to discover your own awesome stripper name. Here’s a handy name generator to use at your leisure. Give it your best shot and let us know what you come up with!
New Kids on the Block: Plotting Comeback?
One of the Kids posted confusing Myspace messages about a possible NKOTB reunion, proving that they care as little as we do about seeing Hangin’ Tough live again. [Us]
Pete Doherty Addicted to Animals
The cracked out Brit has taken to rescuing critters, like a one-legged hedge hog which he now keeps in his garden. This isn’t what we had in mind for “rehab,” but okay. [Daily Star]
More Miley Bikinis Pics Hit Web
Someone’s trying to sabotage the star with sexy pics posted on the internet. Being sixteen sucks no matter how much fame you got going on. [NYDN]