The Kutcher-Moore-Willis clan showed up at the 1st Hollywood Domino Tournament at the Beverly Hills Hotel (seriously, a f*cking DOMINO TOURNAMENT) looking like something out of a futuristic Great Gatsby-esque world. As usual, Ashton has taken every fashion trend from last season and attempted to work it in one frenzied outfit of coolness (he failed). Demi looks like she’s auditioning for the Madame Tussaud’s Museum, and Rumer is clearly trying to tell us something about her love of bondage. But the worst part is the matchy-matchiness of it all. All red, white, black and a touch of red. Glamorous! We get that you guys are more of a cult than a family. Now go play your dominoes and leave us be.

Paris Hilton’s Movie Not Hot at Box Office
Her unfunny flick The Hottie and the Nottie made no money over the weekend, which is wonderfully hilarious. [TMZ]

Ashton Celebrates his B-Day with Bruce
Next time you think your family is weird, just imagine Bruce Willis eating cake with his hands at his ex-wife’s husband’s 30th birthday party. Feel better?  [NYDN]

Is Scarlett Engaged to Alanis’ Ex?
The actress (who dates Ryan Reynolds) was spotted wedding dress shopping with her mom, fueling engagement rumors.  [NYP]

Britney’s B*tchy Grammy Commentary
We’re so glad Brit’s out of the hospital, so she can charmingly tell the Grammys to kiss her ass. British Britney is just pissed she didn’t get a nod for Best New Artist.  [TMZ]

Amy Finally Fixes that Tooth
Eff all her awards, her dentist should win an prize for that work.  [DListed]