Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner for I Know My Kid’s a Star! Below, McKenzie’s mom talks victory, her history in pageantry and how God helped her cope in the tumultuous world of reality TV.

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“I’m not here to say how wonderful and marvelous my daughter is. I’m here to try to get her work,” Helene tells us. The mom half of the I Know My Kid’s a Star first runners up answers the accusation she’s living vicariously through her daughter, dishes on stage-mom drama, and reveals why she thought the show was fixed against Cheyenne.

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“I have to admit: I have no talent. I can’t sing, act or dance. I never, in my wildest dreams, thought I’d be on TV. It wasn’t even a desire,” says Pam. Below, Mary Jo’s mom talks about her feud with Gigi, her cross-dressing ex, the perils of tween-dom, and her confusion over why anyone would want to be a star in the first place.

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Above is a slideshow for “Lollipop World,” a song produced, written and performed by the I Know My Kid’s a Star first runner-up Cheyenne. You could probably pick up on the cheery tone from the title — in fact, her mom Helene notes that this song is about as far from Rocky’s post IKMKAS single as you could possibly get. Rock on, Cheyenne…but gently.

On this episode, the mothers’ claws come out…

…and the kids are right there to show just how impressionable they are!

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Above, check out a one-minute preview of I Know My Kid’s a Star breakout Rocky’s upcoming single, “Who’s the Bitch Now?” When we spoke to Rocky earlier this month, she told us, “If you think the tampon line gave everybody a heart attack, wait till everybody hears the words to my new song. It’s about bondage!” And so it is. The above video takes footage from I Know My Kid’s a Star to accompany a rough cut of Rocky’s single — she says that a sexy, official video is on the way. As it is, though, the language in the clip above is mildly not safe for work…or your booty.

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I Know My Kid’s a Star show page

Want another metaphor?

That’s kind of like an execution lineup, no?

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Lisia says: “My take on this is, no honey, you do not have to win. You don’t have to be the best. You just need to not be the worst.” That philosophy is so awesome that it makes me genuinely sad that it didn’t end up, you know, working.

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Straight-up: I Know My Kid’s a Star breakout Rocky gave this blog one of the best interviews it has ever heard. It was so good that the written word could not do it justice. You simply have to hear Rocky to believe her.

So, we’ve extracted the best 10 minutes of our hour-plus chat with Rocky, split them into two parts and added a slide show to go along with the discussion. Among the topics covered are: her daughter Hayley (of course), her breakdown in the closet, the hair-weave accusations, visible tampon strings, Miley Cyrus’ stripper tendencies, her b-movie career as Melissa Brasselle and her new single, “Who’s the Bitch Now?” Wait until you hear what it’s about.

(On that note, a word of warning: the language in these interviews, particularly in the second part, could be considered NSFW.)

Keep up with Rocky via her MySpace.

…and just when she was getting really interesting!

Seriously! You can’t leave us now, Rocky! Not before you tell us what you were going to do with the hanger!

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I Know My Kid’s a Star’s breakout personality, Rocky, earned that designation from her outrageous behavior. And, as you can see in the clip above (a preview of Thursday’s episode), there’s plenty more where that came from. In the early part of the clip, she mocks Gigi relentlessly, but it’s the second part in which she truly shines. She spazzes out in the confessional booth, ranting about getting no sleep “in this friggin’ wacked house.” “I wanna plug in my P.A. system for these whores…and their brats!” she shrieks, giving us her most memorable quote since, “What, my tampon’s showing?” We’ve said it before, but this time we mean it: this woman is truly amazing.

Bonus - Catch an extended clip of Rocky’s meltdown below:

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